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Post by nyuboi on Oct 22, 2013 11:35:41 GMT -5
My date and surgery is set. One week away.
But I can't help but wonder what everyday life would be like with a DS. I am used to all the trips to the bathroom cause I lived my life with IBS and never knew it until a year ago. But I am also very OCD about being clean "down there" before I go out on a date, or potentially have someone over. What would I do, say excuse me I need to shower? I mean... I would never put myself in a situation where there is any remote chance of sexual activity if I didn't feel fresh down there, and certainly a loose stool would do that. Maybe its a good practice, maybe its just obsessive compulsive. I can deal with gas (ive already been subjected do it when I went shopping with my newly-DS'ed friend). But the bathroom problems... I would likely have to go 3 times in the morning. That's kind of tough with work. I guess I would be on IBS medication the rest of my life, as it stopped me from going 5-6 times a day to 1-2. The IBS was the reason Dr. Pomp didn't like the DS on me, aside from the reflux. As for the scopinaro BPD NYU suggested, Dr. K told me if I was going to do that I might as well just get a modified DS. Is anyones frequent bowels under control with an IBS med?
Anyone single who has the same issues with staying clean after bowel movements before going out for the night or hitting the town? Or anyone in general really.
I imagine a partner would be understanding of having to wait and shower. But meeting new people and new relationships.... ahhhhh.
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Post by bradleyp on Oct 22, 2013 12:12:32 GMT -5
No fucking way.
Still?
3 months today, shitting normal.
About to print this thread to use as TP.
If you're going to get the DS, fly to a doctor that will do it, if you're going to continually cause drama, don't get any surgery. Your surgery is only a tool, your mind has to take control and manage the use of that tool.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2013 12:30:07 GMT -5
I will let someone who has IBS answer this because I can't answer for that portion. I began a new relationship after having my surgery and moved in with the guy within 6 months. I had no issues. I don't obsessively shower, I go to the restroom in the morning and that's usually it. If I have a heavy eating day I may go in the afternoon as well, but that's not often. I don't have gas except when I eat something my body doesn't agree with (wheat/gluten usually). If you are self-conscious of it, others will notice it and pay attention to it. If you just relax, I bet it won't be an issue. I do recommend wet wipes in the bathroom if you want to feel fresher.  |
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Post by duodenalswitcharoo on Oct 22, 2013 12:38:15 GMT -5
Im seriously confused. I thought you were set to have the RNY and get your hernia repaired. Why can't you make a decision and stick it and be happy with your path? I've tried tough love, I've tried to support your decisions but now, I don't even know what to do....you are like a puppy chasing your tail for hours on end.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2013 13:31:25 GMT -5
Goodness gracious, why are you still up in the air with the your obsession with the DS when you've been told by numerous doctors they won't do it or do not recommend it?
I personally think you shouldn't get any surgery at this point until you seek therapy. At this point, the RNY isn't a sound option for you either.
Do you also know some folks with RNY have problems with diarrhea vs. constipation and BMs aren't special....it's a part of life.
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Post by PrettyGirlBounce on Oct 22, 2013 16:47:48 GMT -5
OMG I could kiss you. I am TOTOlly ordering one of these immediately. I am still recovering from surgery to fix/remove external & internal hemorrhoids & fissure. The pain was unbearable. This is exactly what I need going forward. At the suggestion of others, I went to check out bidet seats at Costco and Home Depot to no avail. The one I looked at was cheaply made and looked difficult to clean. Thanks for posting this link Diana. |
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Post by Happy DSr on Oct 22, 2013 17:10:12 GMT -5
losing a couple of hundred pounds, through any means, will make cleanliness easier all around
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Post by nyuboi on Oct 22, 2013 17:22:47 GMT -5
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Post by nyuboi on Oct 22, 2013 17:28:43 GMT -5
Im seriously confused. I thought you were set to have the RNY and get your hernia repaired. Why can't you make a decision and stick it and be happy with your path? I've tried tough love, I've tried to support your decisions but now, I don't even know what to do....you are like a puppy chasing your tail for hours on end. Even when shopping for Electronics, I will always second-guess myself till the return period has happened. Then, its done. Likely I will obsess over this till the day of surgery and then once its done its done. I am getting the RNY so you only have 8 more days of this! :-) Once the action cant be undone, I am calm and collected with my decision and then can obsess no more. It was that Fielding was willing to do a DS on me that messed with my head a little. Don't worry -- still set for RNY in a week. Wow that is fast approaching... |
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Post by newyorkbitch on Oct 22, 2013 17:40:29 GMT -5
Fielding also gave you all kinds of other bad advice.
FOCUS ON GETTING READY FOR SURGERY. RNY AND HERNIA.
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Post by newyorkbitch on Oct 22, 2013 17:41:09 GMT -5
For many DSers, bathroom life is frequent and extremely smelly. You have no way of knowing how it would be for you.
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Post by nyuboi on Oct 22, 2013 17:55:08 GMT -5
Fielding also gave you all kinds of other bad advice. FOCUS ON GETTING READY FOR SURGERY. RNY AND HERNIA. Okay. Have all final appointments this week PCP is tomorrow/Wednesday and Saturday is the pre-op in the city. |
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Post by newyorkbitch on Oct 22, 2013 18:03:50 GMT -5
And also regarding eating - I didn't have to do any kind of modified eating at all, except not eat or drink from midnight the night before. BUT...I think it is wise to do what your particular surgeon is comfortable with. So if you're on liquids - you can still come to Artie's and just have clear chicken soup and jello and water.
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Post by PrettyGirlBounce on Oct 22, 2013 18:12:27 GMT -5
FWIW and since you have an interest even though you are having an RNY, I consider myself to be a "normal" DSer. Without fail, I have a BM within 3-5 minutes of waking up in the morning. They are soft-serve consistency and always caramel in color. I never have to strain (for the first time in my life, btw). I do have to sit on the toilet anywhere from 5-25 minutes when I have my morning BM. It is something I simply cannot rush so I plan my schedule around it by waking up 30-40 minutes earlier than I normally would on workdays. I will rarely (once every 2 weeks or so) have an extra BM in the evening or middle of the night. When I do, however, they are generally quick and easy - nothing like my normal morning BMs. The consistency does not leave "clean" or dry wiping situations. I always wipe first with toilet paper and 2 more times with scented baby wipes which I dispose of into a separate small trash bin with a lid next to my toilet. Prior to my DS, I had chronic, painful constipation resulting in major issues with anal fissures and internal/external hemorrhoids. Now I am finally regular for once in my life. While the smell is none too pleasing, I accept it gladly for the benefits of my DS. No question about it. Of course my DH doesn't jump for joy over the lingering smells in the bathroom, but I try to be extra courteous and use whichever bathroom he won't be using during that time frame. Also, I flush a couple times during my BM and use my air freshener before and after. Regardless, he is just happy that I am finally healthy after the long, treacherous road with my band and RNY prior to my DS. The smell he can handle. Losing me...not so much. |
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Post by duodenalswitcharoo on Oct 22, 2013 18:36:14 GMT -5
soft serve.....LOL!!!!!!!!
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Post by bboop on Oct 22, 2013 18:37:03 GMT -5
I have collageneous colitis...it's a lot like IBS. Although I take medication for it, I still have DS bathroom issues. I couldn't afford a Toto, so I bought a hand held bidet at Amazon...I've been using it for six years...it works really well and I feel completely clean. I have to use wipes at all.
Good luck with your surgery.
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Post by brooklyngirl on Oct 22, 2013 19:47:21 GMT -5
Paul- there is no way of knowing how your system will act after surgery. I had IBS forever and when I was in the dating world I always made sure to not eat foods that were going to cause issues for me, as well as carrying gas x, pepto pills and charcoal pills in a tiny pill holder in my bag. Baby wipes are a staple in my bathroom and individually packaged cottonelle wipes with me everywhere. Your system might be better, it might be worse, just be prepared and smart and you'll be fine.
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Post by brooklyngirl on Oct 22, 2013 19:48:48 GMT -5
OMG I always wanted a bidet every since I went to my rich friend's house in junior high and I saw one for the first time. One of my girlfriends thought it was a water fountain! Lmaoooo |
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MrsGMO
Full Member
Praying for a DS with Dr. Ayoolah
Posts: 137
Surgery Type: Lap Band
Surgery Date: 2005
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Post by MrsGMO on Oct 22, 2013 20:42:22 GMT -5
DH and I can highly recommend the Coco Bidet/Washlet www.biolifetechnologies.com/, which we recently had installed on both of our new toilets. We are both disabled and unable to reach the "back door" area so the bidet feature is immeasurably necessary. We bought two of the Coco 9500R and consider them well worth the price. It gets very cold in the master bath and I love having heated water, a heated seat, and a warm air dryer. We bought Toto toilets, which do an awe-inspiring job of flushing and the poo smell is lessened quite a bit (but not 100% eliminated) with the washlet’s built-in deodorizer. The only problem is that it is verboten to use most spray air fresheners which will permanently stain the lovely toilet lid and seat. I imagine the plug-in kind of freshener would not work well, either, since it puts oils into the air. Anyway, the Cocos and Totos have handled the worst that the king and queen of Poopsalot can dish out. Note: Corrected first paragraph to read “installed on both of our new toilets;” third paragraph to read, "We bought Toto toilets, which do an …” and added "Totos" to the last sentence. |
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Post by sheanie on Oct 22, 2013 20:45:29 GMT -5
I carry what I call my "poop kit" in a cloth drawstring bag in my purse. It contains a sample sized can of Ax (that will cover the smell of anything, I swear), baby wipes, and hemorrhoid cream. I rarely if ever have to use it.
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Post by newanatomy on Oct 23, 2013 1:02:26 GMT -5
But I am also very OCD about being clean "down there" before I go out on a date, or potentially have someone over. What would I do, say excuse me I need to shower? I mean... I would never put myself in a situation where there is any remote chance of sexual activity if I didn't feel fresh down there, and certainly a loose stool would do that. Maybe its a good practice, maybe its just obsessive compulsive. Read more: weightlosssurgery.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=talk&action=display&thread=7672#ixzz2iWObaMDYI imagine a partner would be understanding of having to wait and shower. But meeting new people and new relationships.... ahhhhh. Seriously? I am positive that no person on here is walking around with a crusty ass. Please! It doesn't take OCD to make a shower a part of foreplay. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2013 7:22:19 GMT -5
ROFL THANK YOU !!!!!!  |
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Post by Girlrocker on Oct 23, 2013 8:08:33 GMT -5
I really hope you are dedicating an equal amount of time asking questions about the surgery you are actually having in a week, along with the post-op gameplan, what you need to do for the best potential outcome.
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Post by PrettyGirlBounce on Oct 23, 2013 13:46:26 GMT -5
I really hope you are dedicating an equal amount of time asking questions about the surgery you are actually having in a week, along with the post-op gameplan, what you need to do for the best potential outcome. I agree. I actually felt serious post-response regret yesterday after responding to the OP's question. I feel like I am enabling this odd obsession with having a DS while currently scheduled for an RNY in short order. I've never felt that way before. It doesn't sit well with me for some reason. Oh well... |
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Post by newanatomy on Oct 23, 2013 15:38:28 GMT -5
I am worried that nyuboi is going to come out as a DS basher. As in, "I am so glad I never had the DS because I don't want to be dirty, stinky."
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Post by Paula on Oct 23, 2013 16:13:06 GMT -5
Meh...had an RNY and could stink up a bathroom just as easy. Could do it with normie guts too. Not anywhere near as epic as with my DS, but there is one simple fact to keep in mind. It's shit. It's designed to stink by the very nature of what it's made of. Normie guts, DSer guts, RNY guts...it's ALL the same ultimately. Shit stinks. It happens.
Paul, honestly...of ALL of the things you could be concerned about as far as surgery goes, why focus on something as ridiculous as this? For the love of all that is holy, what your poo smells like SHOULD NOT be the sole focus of your attention.
I'm currently dating 4 people right now. If I was as OCD about my ass as you are based on what you wrote here, Id seriously never leave my damned house. It's easy to stay clean. I wipe my ass and shower. But I did that as a normie and I did it as an RNYer too. You are making this way more complicated than it needs to be.
In the grand scheme of things, does how your ass smells to some person you are dating who's ass does the exact same thing yours does really matter?
I'm not saying this with anything other than genuine care and concern. Your priorities and focus are on stuff that doesn't matter...when it should be on the things that do matter.
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Post by newanatomy on Oct 23, 2013 16:50:10 GMT -5
I'm currently dating 4 people right now. You go girl! |
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Post by brooklyngirl on Oct 23, 2013 17:33:28 GMT -5
I'm currently dating 4 people right now. You go girl! I second that! Get yours girl!!!  |
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Post by nyuboi on Oct 24, 2013 17:53:55 GMT -5
I am worried that nyuboi is going to come out as a DS basher. As in, "I am so glad I never had the DS because I don't want to be dirty, stinky." Not at all. I think it's excellent surgery and I will still recommend it after my RNY. I encouraged my friend for years to get it and he's now one month post-op. I would take "dirty and stinky" anyday to have a normal weight with little weight regain. |
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Post by fullhousemom on Oct 24, 2013 18:40:49 GMT -5
You were worried about being welcomed here because of what one member private, emphasis on PRIVATE, messaged you? If you are not welcomed here, its is directly attributable to your own actions. Take responsibility for yourself. People have been very kind and patient with you....most have exercised so much patience that they have unknowingly become enablers. You have taken advantage of many people's kindness and true intents of helping you. You need therapy, not weight loss surgery.
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