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Post by lamby80 on Oct 25, 2013 21:36:07 GMT -5
Im seriously confused. I thought you were set to have the RNY and get your hernia repaired. Why can't you make a decision and stick it and be happy with your path? I've tried tough love, I've tried to support your decisions but now, I don't even know what to do....you are like a puppy chasing your tail for hours on end. Even when shopping for Electronics, I will always second-guess myself till the return period has happened. Then, its done. Likely I will obsess over this till the day of surgery and then once its done its done. I am getting the RNY so you only have 8 more days of this! :-) Once the action cant be undone, I am calm and collected with my decision and then can obsess no more. It was that Fielding was willing to do a DS on me that messed with my head a little. Don't worry -- still set for RNY in a week. Wow that is fast approaching... I'm going to second what others have said and suggest that you might want to look into some counseling before you move ahead with any surgery. This is a huge, life-changing decision and if you can't be firm with yourself and what it entails, then you should likely wait and focus on your indecision issues.
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Post by kennyk on Oct 25, 2013 23:08:44 GMT -5
Nyuboi, First off I do wish you well and hope you have an excellent WLS experience. That being said I have to say I would prefer if you did not meet us all on the 28th for the DS get together. This is the first time we are all meeting and truth be told I am taking the night off and schlepping to the city to learn and share things about my DS and recovery. I am sure the conversations will be Inappropriately monopolized by you being there especially when you have so much to deal with on your own WLS journey. This was hard for me to say and I know it will once again lose some karma points to yo but I really needed to say it. Good luck Wednesday, and I do look forward to meeting you at some point, just not this Monday. Kenny
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Post by newyorkbitch on Oct 25, 2013 23:25:44 GMT -5
Everyone is welcome Monday. Kenny, if you'd like to organize something and exclude some people, you can do that another time, through PM. It is certainly not up to you to define who "we" is.
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Post by kyal on Oct 25, 2013 23:29:34 GMT -5
I stand corrected, Your XXXXXX. For which the definition is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. You keep asking the same questions over and over and expect different answers, I'm sure of it. [Edited to avoid being reported by the forum nanny] We have told you time and time again everything there is to know about the bathroom issues associated with the DS. But one last time in hope that you actually take it on board this time I will say it again just for shits and giggles. I DO NOT HAVE SIGNIFICANT BATHROOM ISSUES. Unless:..... I eat shit I shouldn't. I do not wear depends, I do not shit 10 times a day, I do not have diarrhoea, I do not clear rooms with my gas.... UNLESS I EAT SHIT I SHOULDN'T. You will find majority of DS patients will tell you this. Search the forum, all the answers are at your fingertips. You asked for opinions on surgeons, you found one you like in Herron and yet you choose some one we advised wasn't your best option? Why fucking ask in the first place? Next time consult your little book of hot surgeons and pick one instead of asking here and wasting peoples time. You have over 30 pages of advice on this forum yet you keep asking for more and each time the questions keep becoming even more ridiculous and unnecessary. If I looked back to when I first asked for advice I might have got 3 pages. You have had more advice and feedback in the history of this forum and still not happy and you wonder why people are on the back foot and attacking you. Open your eyes, its staring you in the face. We have possibly 3 DS surgeons here in Australia for 22+ million people. If Fielding was still in the country I wouldn't use him. He doesn't have the experience. XXX is my professional opinion. Your not ready for surgery is also my profession opinion. Feel free to hit the block button if you don't like what I have to say. But you won't. Your enjoying this. [Edited to avoid being reported by the forum nanny] The posts made on that thread are someone accurate. You can make a point Kyal without saying I have XXXX XXXX XXXX, and without saying "XXXXXX" Just as there being a way to bash Fielding and give a serious opinion, without calling the person going to him a "fuckin idiot" in the process. Keywords they posted are "hostile place," "without receiving flack," "fear retaliation." I was afraid to announce I went with Fielding. I specifically wrote "Please do not go off on me about this. I know how everyone feels about Fielding, but you all told me to take charge of my own life and make a decision and I did. Please respect that." And then Kyal comes along and plays the Fielding card, while calling me BPD in the process. Similar things happened when I posted Fielding as a suggestion for consideration on the vetted list. You can just say he's an awful surgeon and give an opinion without calling me various things in the process. I knew there would be retaliation. One shouldn't be afraid to post here. There I said it. For the 4 PM's I got from people telling me not to let this get to me and focus on surgery, thank you. I know it's not everyone and that some wish me well. I am obviously not the only one afraid to say stuff from the PMs I got, from bb212's post on that thread, and from that chandani girl's post on the original thread. This is why some people stay lurkers and only read. Someone had to say it. And since I appear to be hated anyway, I figured I would represent for those who want to post. Maybe this will help future people who post. Am I allowed to make one final post the day of my surgery saying i'm heading in, or will I get yelled at on my iPhone in the hospital waiting room? I always had a vision of announcing I was going in and getting good feedback from people. I hope I will still be in your prayers and thoughts on Wednesday.
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Post by kennyk on Oct 25, 2013 23:32:15 GMT -5
I guess I did not realize this was YOUR night. I am interested in getting together with fellow DS folks to share experiences. Sorry if that was not what you intended. I guess I will not be there on Monday. Kenny Also New York Bitch my whole post was written by and for me not for a collective WE.
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Post by goodkel on Oct 26, 2013 3:12:02 GMT -5
As I have mentioned in MANY other threads, if someone annoys you, IGNORE them. Hit that button.
I know we have been down this route with Paul before and it seems to be looping back to the beginning again. If you don't have the patience for it, block him or at least don't click on his threads.
I have sent out some private messages for people to edit/modify the name calling. But, don't wait for the pm to fix your post, if you have done so.
Paul is welcome here. If you don't have the patience to deal with his issues, then don't respond to them. It is as simple as that.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2013 4:25:25 GMT -5
I guess I did not realize this was YOUR night. I am interested in getting together with fellow DS folks to share experiences. Sorry if that was not what you intended. I guess I will not be there on Monday. Kenny Also New York Bitch my whole post was written by and for me not for a collective WE. Kenny, I hope you'll find a road trip to NJ well worth your time. It would be quite a schlep, but it would be my very great pleasure to meet you.
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Post by nyuboi on Oct 26, 2013 17:26:34 GMT -5
Kenny - Please go Monday night. I don't even know if I'm attending. And if I did, I wouldn't be monopolizing the conversation. I'm shy with new people in person. I'm leaning more towards staying home anyway because its 36 hours before my surgery.
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Post by nyuboi on Oct 26, 2013 18:38:07 GMT -5
Well at this point even I think this is crazy. I met with Dr. Fielding after my pre-op and he said we can do a DS. I said "No, every other surgeon said I cant because of the GERD and my esophagus." He said my acid reflux is coming from my huge hiatal hernia. He showed me the xrays and said I literally have a third of my stomach up in my chest. He said we should be repairing that and doing WLS on Wednesday. He said the vomiting and acid reflux and all was coming from the hernia all this time. I said well then that doesn't rule out a DS, and he said not at all. He wanted discretion to go in there to do a DS with a small 10% chance the hernia is too big where he does an RNY instead. But he said an DS would be fine, and asked how long I want the common channel to be. I explained to him that "everyone" said my esophagus was not normal from the lapband. He said "You're esophagus is fine," and showed me the xrays and went over them with me. He said all my problems stem from the nasty hiatal hernia. He went on to stay if my goal is to be cured of acid reflux then hands-down RNY is the best procedure for that. (He was doing an RNY on a patient who wasn't even obese cause of their severe reflux). But I told him I was concerned about it getting WORSE. But it sounds like he thinks its livable and that worse case scenario I stay on the PPIs. He said he would call the insurance on Monday and have it changed to a DS for Wednesday. I said no and that I will confirm on Monday.
My gut tells me stick with the RNY. I just don't see how Roslin would have been wrong. He was so extreme with saying my esophagus is not normal and that the lapband messed me up, etc. He was convinced the vomiting and all was from a motility disorder, etc. Roslin was also going to repair the hernia, but he did not feel like this was the cause of everything, whereas Fielding is taking the opposite extreme. Roslin said it had to do with the sleeve being a high pressure system, which would not be good, as the problem with getting it.
I think I trust Roslin's opinion more. Fielding was someone who originally wanted to leave my band in and just fix the hernia, so I don't know if I trust his judgment in this case.
I trust him to do the RNY surgery, I'm just not sure I want to gamble with the severe GERD and vomiting and all on Fielding being right -- especially when he is the only one who says this.
I know this makes me sound more crazy, but I am simply sharing what happened today. I am not about to go back and fourth again though. I just don't think I want to trust Fielding's word over Roslin's.
I know this makes Fielding sound bad. But Dr. K said he is highly experienced and credentialed, and Dr. Roslin said he would let him operate on him any day of the week. Dr. Herron and Inabnet also respected him. I think he is capable of doing surgery.
I was finally at peace with the RNY and had let DS go, and then he come and puts DS back in my head today. But I don't trust that he doesn't think any esophageal issues happened and that's its ALL from a hernia. But if Fielding is right I'm giving up on a DS that wont make me so bad off as we thought. There's just no way to know.
RNY. Wednesday. Crazy I sound, I know. Don't even say it, I feel it after today. This was the wrong thing to put in my head when I'm already obsessive with decision making. Dangled a DS carrot in front of me.
I am just posting the truth from what happened today. It f'ed with my head a little is all. DON'T WORRY -- I'm not about to start everything all over again.
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Post by newyorkbitch on Oct 26, 2013 19:28:55 GMT -5
Diana articulates many of the reasons I thought Herron would be the best choice for you.
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Post by Girlrocker on Oct 26, 2013 19:57:59 GMT -5
*sighs* What Diana and NYB say; why can't you just get the hernia fixed first and go from there. This is SUCH a big decision that people people on solid footing have trouble making, let alone you who is so indecisive. I feel for you, and at least you are owning up. I know what I've been through regarding my own surgeries, all of them, and I was someone at 40 years old who went from never having surgery to having 3 in one year and now two more, all bariatric and related and now I'm 52. I just can't fathom not being 100% sure when I was being rolled into the operating room, I cried when I was having my RNY and bawling uncontrollably when I had my revision.
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Post by goodkel on Oct 26, 2013 20:05:58 GMT -5
If there's a chance that he can do it, why not give him the go ahead? The DS is what you really want, anyway.
Be real, he didn't just put the DS in your head. A week before your scheduled RnY, you're still posting threads asking about the DS.
I like that he is withholding any promises until he gets in there and gets a firsthand look at what's what.
Being on PPI's is no biggie. Many of us have been on them since surgery, myself included.
Best case scenario: you come out with exactly what you've wanted all along.
Worst case scenario: you come out with the RnY that you had already accepted that you had to get.
I don't see the negatives here. You should be thrilled.
Give him the go ahead to do what he can.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2013 20:27:13 GMT -5
Oh Lordy, y'all have just talked him into canceling surgery AGAIN.
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Post by goodkel on Oct 26, 2013 20:41:41 GMT -5
Oh Lordy, y'all have just talked him into canceling surgery AGAIN. I think that ball was already rolling. I'm hoping that this new option for his already scheduled surgery gives him the impetus to finally climb up on that operating table.
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Post by Paula on Oct 26, 2013 20:46:10 GMT -5
I honestly think the part I find troubling is you trust the opinion of another surgeon over that of the one you are trusting to actually perform your surgery. I'm no medical doctor, so I can't honestly say one way or the other which one is right. But what I do know is that if I'm going to be laying unconscious on a OR table underneath someone's scalpel, I think I damned sure should be trusting him 10000000%...both with his surgical skills AND the professional opinion he is using to guide him in his decision making while my guts are in his hands.
But my honest feeling is that you are not as squared away with the RNY decision as you say you are. That ISNT a criticism of you at all. But let's look at this objectively. You started this thread with pointing out that your RNY is scheduled, yet the whole thread was about you imagining life with a DS. A life, I might add, that seems obsessed with bathroom issues....when there is so much more to life with any WLS than just what is produced as waste products. I've seen no questions or anything from you about the RNY. Only the DS. And this of course is with you scheduled for an RNY Wednesday. Sharyl lived with her RNY for a long time. I lived with mine for 12 years. There are also a number of others here who do have RNYs or had them at one time too. So the resources are there. But you are focused more on what you are not scheduled to have done, rather than what you ARE scheduled to have. If it's RNY, let's hear more about RNY stuff. Not " Im having an RNY, but let's talk more about a DS Im not scheduled to have."
I tend to feel like Diana and NYB do. I was over-the-moon elated when I was rolling into the OR with my RNY. I was THAT on board. I rolled into the OR in SLC conflicted. But I knew I was doing the right thing though. Paul, sweetie...you honestly don't sound convinced you are doing the right thing. I also find myself agreeing with Goodkel. But ultimately nothing is for certain one way or the other because no one can predict just how much of the troubles you are experiencing are caused by a hernia that hasn't been repaired yet. That is why Id want to wait if it was me to see how my body responded to the hernia repair before making a decision one way or the other on a RNY vs. DS. Because based on everything I've read from you, you don't seem as on board with this as you say you are. For the reasons Ive said.
No one can make this decision for you. Only you can. So my question is...do YOU feel like your head is in the right place for decisions needed regarding this surgery? Lord knows you try my patience...and Id dare say the patience of others too, but I think I can honestly say that everyone really wants to see the best happen for you. No one wishes bad things for you. So even though you try my patience, you know Im still going to try to help. Be it RNY experience or DS experience. Embrace and accept the decisions you make. Please know that I'm saying this in a supportive and hopefully light manner.
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Post by nyuboi on Oct 26, 2013 21:13:51 GMT -5
Thank you so much for the replies and for not making me feel worse about myself. I was so afraid to share the discussion today. I came in from dinner tonight and was afraid when I turned on my PC if it was going to be a line of people calling me the nut I've become.
I've had a long, emotional day -- got up for the pre-op testing at 5am. I'm going to take an Ambien to calm my thoughts down for the night and pick up with this tomorrow. Have to do some true soul searching here...
Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.
I love you guys. Thank you for sticking with me till the very end. (Sorry I am very emotional tonight).
ok maybe the ambien kicked in already
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Post by goodkel on Oct 26, 2013 21:31:36 GMT -5
Well sleep on this:
If you do not get something done on Wednesday, I am going to fly up there and smack you about your head until my palms have blisters.
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Post by kennyk on Oct 27, 2013 1:37:20 GMT -5
Another unpopular post here but I agree and am going to elaborate on what Kelly said. If you are already putting your faith in a surgeon, and he knows what you truly want, all about your insides including the open I assume first hand look, then Hell, I can see going for it. Expect the worst, hope for the best and put your trus where it is best founded. Good luck which ever way you plan and on whatever the doc finds he can do for you. K
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Post by Leonie on Oct 27, 2013 7:50:44 GMT -5
I think I am repeating what I said to you long ago. Once you have found a doctor you trust, put the decision squarely in his hands. Let him open you up and use his wisdom to do his very best. Tell him you trust him totally, and will accept what he has done.
Then you pray that you have chosen the right doctor.
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Post by nyuboi on Oct 29, 2013 17:53:31 GMT -5
I've decided and have come to peace with my decision.
RNY w/ Hernia Repair tomorrow. 2:30pm.
Thanks to everyone who followed me on this obsessive compulsive journey and put up with me. Please keep me in your thoughts tomorrow.
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Post by newyorkbitch on Oct 29, 2013 18:08:35 GMT -5
Good luck!!!
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Post by Deleted on Oct 29, 2013 18:30:47 GMT -5
I've decided and have come to peace with my decision. RNY w/ Hernia Repair tomorrow. 2:30pm. Thanks to everyone who followed me on this obsessive compulsive journey and put up with me. Please keep me in your thoughts tomorrow. Best wishes Paul.
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Post by Melinda on Oct 29, 2013 18:57:51 GMT -5
Best wishes Paul! Will be thinking about you and praying for a smooth, uneventful recovery.
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Post by Paula on Oct 29, 2013 19:59:34 GMT -5
Good luck tomorrow, Paul. Looking forward to hearing the good news that your hernia is fixed and you are on your new journey with your RNY
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Post by deedee484 on Oct 29, 2013 21:20:11 GMT -5
Good luck and best wishes tomorrow!!
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Post by kennyk on Oct 30, 2013 7:03:16 GMT -5
You will do great. K
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