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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2013 20:36:20 GMT -5
this is exactly the type of stuff that makes me afraid to post. everyone is gaining up on him when this is supposed to be a SUPPORT forum. constructive critiscm is one thing, this is not that. spent an hour reading all of these. he clearly explained theres more to it than acid reflux, there is esophageal damage from the lap band and motility disorders. the best bpd-ds surgeons in the country have told him an RNY is the way to go because of HIS specific issues. his band came out almost a year ago, if his issues havent healed by now i doubt telling him to wait another year is going to do much. the hiatal hernia alone does not produce "extreme vomitting" there is stuff here besides that. he already did a 2 step process by not having the ds at the time the band came out, it sounds like he waited to see if the lapband issues would resolve and they have not. nyuboi, just because some people here were not successful with gastric bypass doesnt mean you wont be. it is still a solid surgery, and one that the best surgeons said you need for numerous reasons. if you decide to move forward with it now and do it the way the doctors wanted then dont feel bad by what everyone is writing. just do it. the rny is going to make you the most healthy, dont let everyone on here let you forget the great advice you got from the ds doctors. the ds is not for everyone, and when you finally accepted that you second-guessed yourself from the attack of just a few people. some meant well, but others just went about the delivery in the wrong way. and again we are not doctors. the doctors told you the lapband messed you up and that the bpd-ds can do it further. i wouldnt doubt that you will be afraid to tell ppl on here that you chose the gastric bypass even if you did get that in sept. you had a plan in place on what doctors said, then changed your mind even about the hospitals and surgeons and procedure. dont let everyone make you crazy. if you think the surgeons are right you dont owe anyone an explanation to get the bypass like you planned. i have pm'ed you. But you're brave enough to bitch about it. Sod off.
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Post by newyorkbitch on Aug 30, 2013 20:36:55 GMT -5
maggie, my experiences at Special Surgery have been so good...and also other people I know who have gone there for knees, hips, etc...all good.
In fact I'm having an MRI of my wrist there next week...and if I'm surgery bound, it will be there. I can't comment on their care of mental health issues, etc...but for orthopedics...doesn't get better than that.
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Post by nyuboi on Aug 30, 2013 20:39:59 GMT -5
i wouldnt doubt that you will be afraid to tell ppl on here that you chose the gastric bypass even if you did get that in sept. EN was the first person that came to mind when I read your post. (j/k, EN, :::kiss: Seriously, though, regarding the above, it's funny you said that. I was actually debating whether or not to tell people if I was getting the RNY. I was worried I wouldn't be welcome here anymore if I was not a DSer. I wondered if I would have to shamefully disappear into the night. The discussion on the hospital rankings was very helpful though. (Thanks, Newyorkbitch) If I can get coverage I may go with Mt. Sinai over NYU. I am going to wait to see what the Mt. Sinai surgeons say before I decide on any multiple-step plan though. Thanks for your post, I answered your PM.
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Post by nyuboi on Aug 30, 2013 20:40:36 GMT -5
FWIW, I have a massive loathing for Special Surgery. I have no doubt that their surgical care is top-notch, but their non-surgical care -- that is, the medical and nursing care -- is shockingly bad. When my father was there, four years ago, it was an absolute nightmare. I spent an hour on the phone with the resident, telling her about my father's alcohol use and use of painkillers; not a single sentence of this made it onto his chart, with the result that he was essentially thrown into the DTs while in recovery from surgery. He was in a state of absolutely raving dementia, and the nurses couldn't seem to understand this: They would ask him to do something, he wouldn't understand, and their response would be to talk louder, as though he were deaf. This happened over and over again, because there was no continuity whatsoever in the nursing staff; he was there for nearly three weeks, and if he had the same nurse twice I'd be really surprised. And when I tried to address the problem of his dementia with the doctor in charge of his medical care (as opposed, again, to his surgical care), the doctor said, oh, he's just fine. I said, he's calling me 20 times a day to bring scissors so he can stab the nurses. And the doctor just chuckled and essentially told me not to worry my little head about it. And don't get me started on the absolutely useless, shamefully bad social-services department. IMO, this hospital absolutely bites it. Sorry to hear about your bad experience at HSS.
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Post by nyuboi on Aug 30, 2013 20:43:08 GMT -5
A hernia repair is very, very, very common so why in the world would you wait if you have insurance? This isn't open heart surgery and I am sure there are 100 qualified surgeons in your area who perform hernia repairs 5 times a day. Just top the dram and get it done. It's a complex hiatal hernia, further complicated by his crap band issues. It's not your basic rupture, as my dad used to call them. As much of a PITA as all this dithering is, it is indeed a not-simple problem that he has. Thanks, EN.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2013 20:43:33 GMT -5
Sorry, can't resist. Just when I thought things had died down, this is the first thing I thought of when someone burst in to flame. ;D
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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2013 20:45:30 GMT -5
Nobody's going to give a crap if you get RNY, as long as you go about it intelligently. If you continue to be single mindedly obsessed with getting everything done in one procedure because OMG you might LOSE some weight before you REGAIN it, yadda yadda yadda, well, then IMNSHO that's not an intelligent way to make a decision. And THAT is something people have been trying to hammer into your head to the point of serious frustration.
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Post by nyuboi on Aug 30, 2013 20:52:21 GMT -5
Nobody's going to give a crap if you get RNY, as long as you go about it intelligently. If you continue to be single mindedly obsessed with getting everything done in one procedure because OMG you might LOSE some weight before you REGAIN it, yadda yadda yadda, well, then IMNSHO that's not an intelligent way to make a decision. And THAT is something people have been trying to hammer into your head to the point of serious frustration. I understand. But you see now you're being much nicer in the way you present it compared to your older posts. Now you're not calling me a "moronic." Like I said recently on the other thread about vetted surgeons, I am happy to listen to you like this.
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Post by maggiesara on Aug 30, 2013 23:27:18 GMT -5
As I said, I have no beef at all with their surgical/orthopedic care; my trouble was with all the support staff, including the non-surgical medical team. Like you, I am a huge fan of Weill Cornell -- with which Special Surgery is affiliated -- and when I bitched about the attending doc to the doctors I know from Weill Cornell, all three doctors, independently, said yeah, everybody knows that guy should have retired ten years ago. They couldn't get my father an ambulance, the 14-year-old social worker was asking ME what level of rehab I thought my father needed (I said, uh, I'm a publisher; I don't have any medical training)...it was just one spectacular fustercluck. All that said, I have NO doubt that they will treat your wrist well.
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Post by goodkel on Aug 31, 2013 2:32:57 GMT -5
this is exactly the type of stuff that makes me afraid to post. everyone is gaining up on him when this is supposed to be a SUPPORT forum. constructive critiscm is one thing, this is not that. spent an hour reading all of these. he clearly explained theres more to it than acid reflux, there is esophageal damage from the lap band and motility disorders. the best bpd-ds surgeons in the country have told him an RNY is the way to go because of HIS specific issues. his band came out almost a year ago, if his issues havent healed by now i doubt telling him to wait another year is going to do much. the hiatal hernia alone does not produce "extreme vomitting" there is stuff here besides that. he already did a 2 step process by not having the ds at the time the band came out, it sounds like he waited to see if the lapband issues would resolve and they have not. nyuboi, just because some people here were not successful with gastric bypass doesnt mean you wont be. it is still a solid surgery, and one that the best surgeons said you need for numerous reasons. if you decide to move forward with it now and do it the way the doctors wanted then dont feel bad by what everyone is writing. just do it. the rny is going to make you the most healthy, dont let everyone on here let you forget the great advice you got from the ds doctors. the ds is not for everyone, and when you finally accepted that you second-guessed yourself from the attack of just a few people. some meant well, but others just went about the delivery in the wrong way. and again we are not doctors. the doctors told you the lapband messed you up and that the bpd-ds can do it further. i wouldnt doubt that you will be afraid to tell ppl on here that you chose the gastric bypass even if you did get that in sept. you had a plan in place on what doctors said, then changed your mind even about the hospitals and surgeons and procedure. dont let everyone make you crazy. if you think the surgeons are right you dont owe anyone an explanation to get the bypass like you planned. i have pm'ed you. Perhaps you missed it, but nyuboi does NOT want the RnY. That is basically what this whole thread is about. This is your very first post here and you chose to try to dictate how the people in this community post without even an introduction. If you do not like how someone posts, you are encouraged to use the "Ignore" button under their avatar. What you are NOT permitted to do is attempt to change how other people post. Stop it. The only person you are allowed to control is yourself. Now would be a good time to start. Thank you.
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Post by Girlrocker on Aug 31, 2013 13:53:53 GMT -5
this is exactly the type of stuff that makes me afraid to post. everyone is gaining up on him when this is supposed to be a SUPPORT forum. constructive critiscm is one thing, this is not that. spent an hour reading all of these. Kelly nailed it, Paul's first choice is not the RNY, and there is plenty of support on here if that's the route, due to his numerous medical issues, he must go. As Kelly pointed out, this WHOLE thread is helping him sort through all of it. You couldn't have possibly spent an hour 'reading all of these' responses, or you would never post what you have. This is TEN pages of expert, caring, hand-holding, cajoling, tough love support and advice. A testament to the diversity of the people here and how much they care. I don't even want to answer to this except to speak to other new people/lurkers who are also here. We want Paul to make the best choices for his health, in his body AND his mind.
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Post by meq815 on Aug 31, 2013 18:47:22 GMT -5
Longest thread ever? jw
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Post by kyal on Aug 31, 2013 23:31:10 GMT -5
I'm going to play devils advocate here because no one else has and this thread has gone on forever.
When Paul first came here he was worried about how the DS would effect his life, in particular his love life. It seemed as if he was looking for a reason not to have a DS. We debunked the myths and bullshit for him.
Paul has now been dumped by his former surgeon who he cancelled on once or twice, the same surgeon who did have him scheduled for a DS at one stage. His now looking for reasons TO have the DS as apposed to the RNY which 80% of the doctors his consulted have told him is his best option. Now lets remember his also approached just about every surgeon on the east coast and then some on the west.
A common theme through out all of these posts is Paul wants the best doctor, best hospital, reviewed by some book that he trusts implicitly. Lets remember Kesheshian offered him a compromised DS taking into account his other issues, Dr K is arguably one of the best revision surgeons in the world but even that wasn't good enough. Not all of us had the luxury of the best surgeon in the book or the world and have done just fine.... I was a complex revision and my highly experienced surgeon had done less than 10 DS's, I've done amazingly well.
I'm starting to wonder if this is just a complex decision or an indecisive, self entitled, status seeking, time waster.
To the OP; Paul you have had the best advice in the world from both DS patients and surgeons. You now need to make a decision and stop making this the entire focus of your universe. We can't make the decisions for you, only offer advice and I think you have had more than your fair share. Make a decision and have surgery already so you can come here and share your success instead of arguing every finer detail of your decision.. We're not here to micromanage your health.
It's been said before but if you can't use judgement and common sense to make these kinds of decisions without our involvement in your entire decision making process and the minute finer details then maybe a serious procedure like RNY or DS isn't for you. Your going to have to be your own advocate for the rest of your life with these surgeries and your going to have to be confident in your decisions or it will get you killed.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2013 6:27:40 GMT -5
Kyal, I would like to adopt you.
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Post by maggiesara on Sept 1, 2013 9:46:53 GMT -5
Fight ya for it, EN!
Wait, no, you'd win.
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Post by meq815 on Sept 1, 2013 10:53:56 GMT -5
I think I'm in love with kyal.
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Post by Girlrocker on Sept 1, 2013 12:10:33 GMT -5
Holy $hit Kyal, BAM! Paul/nyuboi as I've said repeatedly, can only hope for your sake, you really HEAR all of this.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2013 12:12:51 GMT -5
I'm going to play devils advocate here because no one else has and this thread has gone on forever. When Paul first came here he was worried about how the DS would effect his life, in particular his love life. It seemed as if he was looking for a reason not to have a DS. We debunked the myths and bullshit for him. Paul has now been dumped by his former surgeon who he cancelled on once or twice, the same surgeon who did have him scheduled for a DS at one stage. His now looking for reasons TO have the DS as apposed to the RNY which 80% of the doctors his consulted have told him is his best option. Now lets remember his also approached just about every surgeon on the east coast and then some on the west. A common theme through out all of these posts is Paul wants the best doctor, best hospital, reviewed by some book that he trusts implicitly. Lets remember Kesheshian offered him a compromised DS taking into account his other issues, Dr K is arguably one of the best revision surgeons in the world but even that wasn't good enough. Not all of us had the luxury of the best surgeon in the book or the world and have done just fine.... I was a complex revision and my highly experienced surgeon had done less than 10 DS's, I've done amazingly well. I'm starting to wonder if this is just a complex decision or an indecisive, self entitled, status seeking, time waster. To the OP; Paul you have had the best advice in the world from both DS patients and surgeons. You now need to make a decision and stop making this the entire focus of your universe. We can't make the decisions for you, only offer advice and I think you have had more than your fair share. Make a decision and have surgery already so you can come here and share your success instead of arguing every finer detail of your decision.. We're not here to micromanage your health. It's been said before but if you can't use judgement and common sense to make these kinds of decisions without our involvement in your entire decision making process and the minute finer details then maybe a serious procedure like RNY or DS isn't for you. Your going to have to be your own advocate for the rest of your life with these surgeries and your going to have to be confident in your decisions or it will get you killed. EXHAULT!!
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Post by kyal on Sept 1, 2013 18:14:17 GMT -5
Kyal, I would like to adopt you. Cyber Mommy. Where have you been all my life?
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Post by kyal on Sept 1, 2013 18:15:09 GMT -5
I think I'm in love with kyal. Awww. My first post op love!
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Post by meq815 on Sept 1, 2013 20:29:34 GMT -5
And not your last, I'm sure...but I called you first ;-)
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Post by kyal on Sept 2, 2013 1:38:19 GMT -5
Fight ya for it, EN! Wait, no, you'd win. You can be my Cyber GodMommy :-) Virtual adoptions. How cool.
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Post by nyuboi on Sept 2, 2013 18:31:09 GMT -5
I went to the beach yesterday for labor day weekend and went in the ocean. Haven't been in 8 years. Used to love the water when I was a kid. I spent my 20s avoiding going because I didn't want to take my shirt off next to all the young people that could.
Too bad I didn't adopt this mentality 8 years ago. I had a great time with the waves not caring about others!
Thought I would share this moment!!! :-)
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Post by willowrayne on Sept 3, 2013 2:37:22 GMT -5
Very exciting! I love love getting a new lease on life. I forgot how much fun swimming could be.
(you need a floatie!)
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Post by nyuboi on Sept 3, 2013 15:56:13 GMT -5
I wonder if I should delete my very first post from a year ago in which I give my entire life story and over-disclose. It's coming up on some google searches. :/
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Post by Deleted on Sept 3, 2013 16:16:03 GMT -5
It would take a while to get out of Google because of caching, but yeah, you might consider that.
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Post by newanatomy on Sept 3, 2013 16:19:48 GMT -5
I wonder if I should delete my very first post from a year ago in which I give my entire life story and over-disclose. It's coming up on some google searches. :/ I doubt it is necessary, I don't think many people have the resoluteness to read the whole entry.
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Post by goodkel on Sept 3, 2013 16:36:49 GMT -5
I wonder if I should delete my very first post from a year ago in which I give my entire life story and over-disclose. It's coming up on some google searches. :/ I think that it would be easier to not use this screen name anywhere else. Then other people wouldn't know to search for it. Deleting it from here won't do anything once Google has it in their cache. They hold onto everything that they've already scanned and it is not like they keep making fresh copies of older stuff.
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Post by newyorkbitch on Sept 3, 2013 17:55:19 GMT -5
I would suggest the same - do not use the same screen name anywhere else. I also think putting your date of birth (including year) in a profile on a public website is a bad idea.
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Post by nyuboi on Sept 3, 2013 22:14:55 GMT -5
I would suggest the same - do not use the same screen name anywhere else. I also think putting your date of birth (including year) in a profile on a public website is a bad idea. Yeah on google the date of birth is coming from ProBoards. I didn't even know I gave my DOB when I signed up on this. I fixed it in settings not to disclose that in my profile, but it's likely stuck on Google now. And only Goodkel should know that. ;-)
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