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Post by louteg on Nov 16, 2014 19:49:00 GMT -5
Hi all, Sorry for the long post. I am trying to figure things out hopping you all can help me. I stop religiously tracking everything I was eating 7 months ago because I became obsesses with food; more so than when I was 303 lbs. I convinced myself that I had learned a new way of eating, and I could control my carb and food addiction I was so wrong. Instead I spent the last 7 months gaining and losing the same 12 to 15 lbs. I had some good food days never a good food week I started new every day. I join a bunch of low-carb groups and entered some low-carb weight challenges to help me control the carbs. I just end up frustrated.
I know the issues I am having are not just food related during the last 6 months I battled iron deficiency, dehydration, migraines, food apathy, bottomless food feeding days (am in one now) Hypoglycemia, endometriosis, fibroids and now 3 lipomas. I also had to deal with a very tight financial situation; my marriages almost ended and double the work load at work. I feel so overwhelm most days, I barely get 4 to 5 hours a sleep at night. When I am Stress I eat lot craps with lots of carb in it and self-sabotage.
I am going to be 16 months post opt next week, so I know I am still in the loosing window. I also know that my Ds work otherwise I would have gain at least 40 to 50lbs by now. I have try in the last 3 months to go back to basic (hydration, protein and fat) I would do well for a few days (2-3) than fall back to eating too much carbs, not enough protein and fat. I have yet to figure out what combinations work for me, all I know is if I eat less than 50gs of carb for the day I have a hyperglycemic attach. I am in therapy I am working on applying other coping skill instead of eating my sadness, stress and anxiety away. What I am asking you all is how did you figure out what works for you? Tracking works for me only during the day (I eat crap at night and on weekends). If any of you are night time eaters what do you do to minimize the bad eating at night? Not having the “bad” food in the house is not an option. Thank you
P.S. I am a lap-band to DS revision, SW 296.6 CW 212.6 I am going to be 17 months post op next week, I have a 125cc common channel my surgeon is Dr. Roslin. I take my vites regularly and exercises 4 days a week.
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Post by newyorkbitch on Nov 16, 2014 20:52:30 GMT -5
Do you mean that if you eat less than 50g of carbs per day you have HYPOglycemic episodes? Assuming that is true….you are not having hypoglycemic episodes because of that. You need to eat complex carbs throughout the day and NO SIMPLE CARBS.
Louteg you know I love ya, but there is no way around this. If you are binging on simple carbs you are not going to lose the weight, and you are going to continue to have blood sugar issues.
Are you seeing a shrink?
Does your family WANT you to be obese and sick?
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Post by bboop on Nov 16, 2014 20:58:07 GMT -5
You sound overwhelmed. I've been there, but the number one priority is your health. Have all the issues you mentioned besides the more recent ones resolved themselves? If not get to a doc and take care of that.
In the meantime, restart the DS diet. You know what to eat...do you really want to weight 216 or not? You have to ask yourself that question. If you don't then you know what to do. Try nibbling on complex carbs plus protein all day and evening long. Don't allow yourself to become hungry. That's the real problem. But if you keep yourself relatively full with healthy (for a DSer) then you should eat less at mealtimes. STOP sabotaging yourself.
Come on climb back on the DS wagon and get with it. You will get all the support you need here. We have all been in your shoes...trust me. Sometimes I want to chuck it all but I don't...I just keep to a low carb diet.
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Post by newyorkbitch on Nov 16, 2014 21:02:05 GMT -5
She can't. She is extremely stressed, exhausted, problems and work and at home…and she is compulsively overeating and binging.
louteg - I say this with all affection - you (and maybe your family with you) need to be in therapy. There is no magic bullet here. You have to deal with the emotional issues.
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Post by west4thavenue on Nov 16, 2014 21:12:07 GMT -5
Louteg, I don't know you and don't want to offend you, but you clearly in a horrible situation. I think you summed up your problem very well when you wrote, "When I am Stress I eat lot craps with lots of carb in it and self-sabotage." I also think you are right when you say your issues are not all food related, so I am glad you are getting some counseling.
From my own experience, I know it can take a long time and lots of therapy to try to pinpoint the reasons why we do things to hurt ourselves. And I think it is good to explore the reasons why we are the way we are. In the meantime, you can change your behavior. The sanest, healthiest thing to do is to realize you do have control over what you do, what you eat, how you spend your time, how you behave in general. You absolutely do! You have the power to consciously decide to care for yourself in a loving, caring way, as you would a friend, instead of continuing to hinder and harm your progress in life. You can make better choices right now, and keep making them every day. You have the power to do things better, differently, even if you have the impulse to do, be and have things the "old way", the way that hurts you, the way that has brought you to this desperate and frustrated state you are in tonight.
You ask what works for me. OK. It helps me to stay busy with positive things that are not food-related. You exercise 4 times a week. That is great! I garden, read, watch movies, and spend time with friends. Every day I decide...consciously...to be happy. Some days it's not as easy for me as you think. I have had my share of troubles, too. Plenty of times I'd like to dive headfirst into a big bowl of ice cream. I have managed not to do it since my surgery, because it would hurt me and I get busy doing something else. Food is not the answer for me. I have learned that already and I don't have hurt myself to prove it! Neither do you, Louteg.
Keep going to counseling, keep exercising. Get your mind out of that refrigerator and get busy living! Make some music, go to a movie, make yourself a hat! You can do this! Look how far you have come already. Life is tough, Louteg, but it is also beautiful. You have the power to do this!
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Post by nursemelanie on Nov 16, 2014 23:34:45 GMT -5
Louteg,
I can relate to a lot of what you talked about. And I also know about the couple days on plan, followed by a couple/few bad days. Nights are the hardest for me. Other than the obvious need of therapy to deal with the triggers and root causes....The immediate thing that is helping me this week is always having several protein options right there and keeping myself "full" of these. Eating every hour or two. Not allowing myself to become "hungry"...therefore, if I ate simple carbs on top of it, I would actually be sick. Of course, this is not a permanent fix to the carb addiction/food addiction problem! BUT, I am finding that if I have a plan in place to get me through that weak moment where I'm looking for that "carb comfort" that "carb fix"...it is helping. This is a learned awful and real habit/addiction and it's not gonna go away overnight as I'm sure you know, but I believe that the positive reinforcement of reaching our weight-loss goals WILL have a impact on the struggle. Sending positive thoughts, prayers, and encouragement your way from one soon-to-be-past-self-sabateur to another. ♡
Sent from my SM-N900T using proboards
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Post by louteg on Nov 16, 2014 23:43:09 GMT -5
Do you mean that if you eat less than 50g of carbs per day you have HYPOglycemic episodes? Assuming that is true….you are not having hypoglycemic episodes because of that. You need to eat complex carbs throughout the day and NO SIMPLE CARBS. Louteg you know I love ya, but there is no way around this. If you are binging on simple carbs you are not going to lose the weight, and you are going to continue to have blood sugar issues. Are you seeing a shrink? Does your family WANT you to be obese and sick? When I eat 20-50g of carb for the day I also find that am eating less than 1200 calories, then I have a Hypoglycemic episode. When I drink or eat anything that is sweet or has fructose sugar 30 to 1 hour later I start sweeting, I get nauseous, my head hurts and get dizzy.
Unfortunately NYB my husband like me more when I was obese, he says I went out less, other men did not notice me and Caribbean women are not supposed to be tin. I am seeing a therapist and a marriage counselor.
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Post by louteg on Nov 16, 2014 23:57:27 GMT -5
You sound overwhelmed. I've been there, but the number one priority is your health. Have all the issues you mentioned besides the more recent ones resolved themselves? If not get to a doc and take care of that. In the meantime, restart the DS diet. You know what to eat...do you really want to weight 216 or not? You have to ask yourself that question. If you don't then you know what to do. Try nibbling on complex carbs plus protein all day and evening long. Don't allow yourself to become hungry. That's the real problem. But if you keep yourself relatively full with healthy (for a DSer) then you should eat less at mealtimes. STOP sabotaging yourself. Come on climb back on the DS wagon and get with it. You will get all the support you need here. We have all been in your shoes...trust me. Sometimes I want to chuck it all but I don't...I just keep to a low carb diet. All the issues I mentioned started after my DS. I am schedule for a hysterectomy next month that will take care of the endometriosis and fibroids I am also hopping that will help with my iron deficiency. I am in therapy, but when I am stress I fall back on old habits and forget that I matter.
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Post by louteg on Nov 17, 2014 0:04:18 GMT -5
Louteg, I can relate to a lot of what you talked about. And I also know about the couple days on plan, followed by a couple/few bad days. Nights are the hardest for me. Other than the obvious need of therapy to deal with the triggers and root causes....The immediate thing that is helping me this week is always having several protein options right there and keeping myself "full" of these. Eating every hour or two. Not allowing myself to become "hungry"...therefore, if I ate simple carbs on top of it, I would actually be sick. Of course, this is not a permanent fix to the carb addiction/food addiction problem! BUT, I am finding that if I have a plan in place to get me through that weak moment where I'm looking for that "carb comfort" that "carb fix"...it is helping. This is a learned awful and real habit/addiction and it's not gonna go away overnight as I'm sure you know, but I believe that the positive reinforcement of reaching our weight-loss goals WILL have a impact on the struggle. Sending positive thoughts, prayers, and encouragement your way from one soon-to-be-past-self-sabateur to another. ♡ Sent from my SM-N900T using proboards Its good to know am not alone....
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Post by Leonie on Nov 17, 2014 1:31:16 GMT -5
The best way we can help you is for you to keep on coming here and being brutally honest. Tell us what you eat, when you are busy eating it. Tell us about your feelings and what is happening. Let us be a mirror and a sounding board. Also look into our lives to get ideas and strategies, and even empathy. Also find ways to reach out to folks here. Giving is good for your health.
I am glad that you are looking at the medical issues. Right now your body is in emergency mode, and you will be amazed at the difference when the problems are addressed.
Are you having iron infusions? I had one a couple of weeks before my hernia surgery and it really helped. In spite of a bleed and second OR visit, my levels are still kinda ok.
Keep lots of yummy treats in the fridge for those munchy evenings. You might actually be really hungry, so EAT all evening. You are busy all day and I am sure you are not able to eat every hour or two then. I am like that in the mornings. Devilled eggs are cheap. Cheese, bits of leftover meat, all those good things. Have a protein shake an hour after dinner. Then have some "good" indulgences available. I rely a lot on heavy cream when I am feeling bingey. I sip it straight from the box, mix it with sweetner, cocoa, cream cheese, and make a heavy mousse like concoction. A bit leaves me sweet to the gills. Brown bread toast is my safe complex carb. (no gas). I have a slice loaded with melted cheese and a drizzle of honey. I also keep a tub of macedamia nuts mixed with raw coconut flakes, a few banana chips and cranberries. I know I need complex carbs with lots of fat and protein.
I also have a plan for those "now I want to eat crap" times. I eat chocolate, the darker the better. I make rich hot chocolate with cocoa, vanilla, cream, a beaten egg or two and sweetner. I have a small glass of creamy liqueur like Baileys. I order a chocolate sundae and ask for loads of cream, but little ice-cream. More nuts and less chocolate sauce. Do you see how I have tweaked regular treats to be more DS friendly?
You say you eat crap in the evenings and weekends. You also say that you are not getting enough sleep. Why don't you go to sleep earlier? I bet you are watching TV or some other mindless activity that could be better replaced with a soothing bedtime ritual and an earlier night. Also carefully evaluate your exercise routine. Can you really work out that often while being anemic, and that on top of a very demanding job? I wouldn't be able to do that. Scale down, simplify, edify.
I wish I had a cookie cutter answer, but perhaps something one of us says will be a lightbulb moment for you.
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Post by jpcello on Nov 17, 2014 6:36:51 GMT -5
I'm a nighttime eater. When I was still in the weight loss phase (and even now) I try to snack on protein - cheese, lunchmeat, nuts, etc. I would treat myself with a small sweet (a cookie or a piece of chocolate) and that usually helped with the carb monsters.
Hopefully the anemia will take care of itself with your upcoming hysterectomy. Sorry you're having to go to such extreme measures but you will feel significantly better once the anemia is under control, as it has such a negative effect on so many things.
Glad you're in therapy to help you figure this out.
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Post by goodkel on Nov 17, 2014 20:20:35 GMT -5
I have seen plenty of sexy, thin Carib women. A healthy weight does not mean that you will have no curves. I think that your husband is feeling insecure about your weight loss, as if you will leave him for greener pastures as you become healthy, active, and confident. I hope that he is in therapy with you. Meanwhile, listen to NYB. You need a steady diet of protein and complex carbs throughout the day. Get the garbage out of the house. Throw it away. If anyone in your household wants to eat it, they can go out to eat it and not bring it in the house. It is harmful to your health. Substitute it with sugar free treats: popsicles, pudding, jello, candies if you need sweet. Or one of the many delicious sweet and savory and DS friendly recipes in our recipe forum here: weightlosssurgery.proboards.com/board/36/recipesI hope your upcoming surgery does the trick for your anemia. You'll feel so much better when that is fixed.
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Post by newyorkbitch on Nov 17, 2014 20:34:56 GMT -5
The problem is her husband is sabotaging her on purpose, and refuses to cooperate or support her efforts.
Lambchop, you gotta pack your bags and get outta there - if he wants you back, he'll change his ways. If not, sayofuckinara.
How old is your son by now?
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Post by goodkel on Nov 17, 2014 21:50:37 GMT -5
Still. Throw it out. Pour vinegar on it first, make it inedible.
He's doing it because he is getting away with it. It is time to stop tolerating it.
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Post by ms2mrsmyers on Nov 18, 2014 0:41:38 GMT -5
That is some BS. My family eats what I eat with some minor tweaking when needed and junk is not kept in the house because even "naturally thin" people do not NEED it. If your husband wants it I agree with others he can have it while he's out. I have a sneaking suspicion that the issues between you run much deeper than this...I hope you find peace and happiness <3
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Post by nursemelanie on Nov 18, 2014 2:56:04 GMT -5
I can't imagine doing this with no support in the household. If I had to have a house full of temptations, I'd be doomed. I'm all for you destroying the enemies (junk food) that's in your house!!
Sent from my SM-N900T using proboards
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Post by louteg on Nov 18, 2014 23:23:01 GMT -5
The problem is her husband is sabotaging her on purpose, and refuses to cooperate or support her efforts. Lambchop, you gotta pack your bags and get outta there - if he wants you back, he'll change his ways. If not, sayofuckinara. How old is your son by now? His 14, I figure if can hold on for three more years I'll be ok.
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Post by louteg on Nov 18, 2014 23:30:03 GMT -5
I have seen plenty of sexy, thin Carib women. A healthy weight does not mean that you will have no curves. I think that your husband is feeling insecure about your weight loss, as if you will leave him for greener pastures as you become healthy, active, and confident. I hope that he is in therapy with you. Meanwhile, listen to NYB. You need a steady diet of protein and complex carbs throughout the day. Get the garbage out of the house. Throw it away. If anyone in your household wants to eat it, they can go out to eat it and not bring it in the house. It is harmful to your health. Substitute it with sugar free treats: popsicles, pudding, jello, candies if you need sweet. Or one of the many delicious sweet and savory and DS friendly recipes in our recipe forum here: weightlosssurgery.proboards.com/board/36/recipesI hope your upcoming surgery does the trick for your anemia. You'll feel so much better when that is fixed. When I throw out the junk food he buys it and bring it in. We had one session couples therapy this week, he says he does want to go back. The issue I must agree with you all is he is insecure about my weight lost.
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Post by louteg on Nov 19, 2014 0:08:04 GMT -5
The best way we can help you is for you to keep on coming here and being brutally honest. Tell us what you eat, when you are busy eating it. Tell us about your feelings and what is happening. Let us be a mirror and a sounding board. Also look into our lives to get ideas and strategies, and even empathy. Also find ways to reach out to folks here. Giving is good for your health. I am glad that you are looking at the medical issues. Right now your body is in emergency mode, and you will be amazed at the difference when the problems are addressed. Are you having iron infusions? I had one a couple of weeks before my hernia surgery and it really helped. In spite of a bleed and second OR visit, my levels are still kinda ok. Keep lots of yummy treats in the fridge for those munchy evenings. You might actually be really hungry, so EAT all evening. You are busy all day and I am sure you are not able to eat every hour or two then. I am like that in the mornings. Devilled eggs are cheap. Cheese, bits of leftover meat, all those good things. Have a protein shake an hour after dinner. Then have some "good" indulgences available. I rely a lot on heavy cream when I am feeling bingey. I sip it straight from the box, mix it with sweetner, cocoa, cream cheese, and make a heavy mousse like concoction. A bit leaves me sweet to the gills. Brown bread toast is my safe complex carb. (no gas). I have a slice loaded with melted cheese and a drizzle of honey. I also keep a tub of macedamia nuts mixed with raw coconut flakes, a few banana chips and cranberries. I know I need complex carbs with lots of fat and protein. I also have a plan for those "now I want to eat crap" times. I eat chocolate, the darker the better. I make rich hot chocolate with cocoa, vanilla, cream, a beaten egg or two and sweetner. I have a small glass of creamy liqueur like Baileys. I order a chocolate sundae and ask for loads of cream, but little ice-cream. More nuts and less chocolate sauce. Do you see how I have tweaked regular treats to be more DS friendly? You say you eat crap in the evenings and weekends. You also say that you are not getting enough sleep. Why don't you go to sleep earlier? I bet you are watching TV or some other mindless activity that could be better replaced with a soothing bedtime ritual and an earlier night. Also carefully evaluate your exercise routine. Can you really work out that often while being anemic, and that on top of a very demanding job? I wouldn't be able to do that. Scale down, simplify, edify. I wish I had a cookie cutter answer, but perhaps something one of us says will be a lightbulb moment for you. 1. I uses to log on every day, but my doing so started causing arguments between myself and my husband. He felt that I spend to much time online so I stopped. I missed coming here everyday. But I realize it's his way to isolating me from what he sees as a treat to himself. 2. I have had 3 iron infusions in the past 4 months but it does not last long. 3. I go to bed at 10:00 pm but I do not stay asleep by 1:00am am up because of low blood sugar, or a migraine or I can't stay a sleep at all. 4. My day is very busy my case load went from 350 to 875 students. I am not eating every two hours, on a good day I'll get to eat every 4 hours out of an 8 hour workday. It's easier to take my vites in between seeing students that only takes a few seconds. 5. I have to go to the gym and walk its my only outlets to distress from work, in that hour and a half I can forget about my student who cut herself the nite before, or the one whose mom threw out and have a restraining order against and is now homeless, or student whose mom boyfriend has been raping and is now pregnant, I must call cps and convinces my Principal to call the police. I can stop thinking about my student who reads at a 2nd grade level has a 63 IQ but their place in general education and the parent refuses to sign the documents needed to provide the child devices. I need that time just for me. I go as soon as am done with work even when am tired; I need it before going home and dealing with the yelling about why am not cooking rice, or macaroni pie, or why we can't have pizza. I use to go everyday but I comprised to 4 days
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Post by newyorkbitch on Nov 19, 2014 7:10:42 GMT -5
I think he has to understand that at some point, if he is not supportive, he will lose you. Is that what he wants?
Have you tried Ambien or Lunesta?
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Post by fullhousemom on Nov 19, 2014 8:21:21 GMT -5
I get a sense that your heart breaks every day, either from trying to be a good wife to your husband (and believing you are failing) or by trying to "fix" the lives of your students (which you simply can't). There must be a strong senses of failure in your life every day.
I am glad you are in marriage counseling. Professional advice and intervention will help you to find the correct path for your marriage, whether that be reconciliation or divorce. You should be proud that you are confronting the problems in your marriage. Marriage is hard work. Know that you are exactly where you should be today, and trust your counselor's guidance on your future. I have so much respect for you for already taking this step!
Your job is a tough job. It takes a special person to help these troubled kids. I place you in the same category as those health professionals who care for terminally ill children. It takes a special person to do that, and you are obviously very compassionate and kind-hearted. The thing is, I think your job is to help these kids with the traumas or circumstances in their lives. And you probably do this very well. But, it is not your job to "fix" it. You are powerless to fix all the indecencies of society. Give yourself a hug for DOING YOUR BEST to help these kids cope, surround them with love. You have to separate your job and the legal system's job, and get comfort that you are doing the best job you can. Easier said than done, I know. But counseling would really help here, even if is just to vent all your frustrations about the system to an independent party. Obviously, I am a firm believer in counseling.
Frustrations from your daily job to frustrations with going home to a troubled marriage.....its no wonder you are unable to really focus on the eating! Get yourself in counseling and find some peace that while your life may feel out of control now, that you are doing everything in your power, today, to help you for tomorrow. It will be baby steps, and won't happen quickly, but I will pray that you find peace where you are in the process every day. Best wishes.
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Post by goodkel on Nov 19, 2014 10:43:39 GMT -5
You should set some time aside every weekend to plan your food for the work week ahead. Buy it, prepare it, have it ready to throw in your bag and go. Bags of nuts, cheese sticks, jerky, and protein bars will all fit into a pocket and you can reach in and nibble throughout the day.
Plan and cook only DS friendly dinners.
Let your husband whine like a toddler. If he wants macaroni, he's an adult and can make it for himself.
You have enough stress, do enough for others at work. Home should be your sanctuary.
By his actions and attitude, your husband is going to make his worst fears come true if he doesn't get his act together and start supporting you.
I am sorry you are having to deal with this, carrying all this emotional weight on your shoulders. You deserve better.
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Post by Leonie on Nov 19, 2014 11:33:01 GMT -5
Big hugs to you!
You are doing very well under all these circumstances and it is obvious that you are making a major effort. I understand better about the exercise.
My husband is a real star. He buys a cooked meal at work and is happy when it is just meat and salad for dinner. He can always have more bread. He understands that he needs to hide the treats I buy for him - otherwise I have them while he is at work.
Pizzas a great. Eat one slice and the topping off the rest. Macaroni is good, but keep the meat sauce and the pasta separate. Your serving is meat and cheese.
I am trying to say that every bit you do to meet his perceived need, is very valuable. In an ideal world you will be looking after his needs, and he will be looking after yours.
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Post by newyorkbitch on Nov 19, 2014 11:45:05 GMT -5
She is married to a traditional (aka sexist) Caribbean man who expects his wife to cook him traditional Caribbean food every day. It's a big problem.
louteg - is the marriage counselor also Caribbean?
louteg you want to change the implied contract of your marriage and your husband doesn't. The question is whether or not he can adapt to the changes you want (and need in order to stay healthy and alive), or whether you need to move on without him.
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Post by gingerk on Nov 19, 2014 20:47:03 GMT -5
Hi all, Sorry for the long post. I am trying to figure things out hopping you all can help me. I stop religiously tracking everything I was eating 7 months ago because I became obsesses with food; more so than when I was 303 lbs. I convinced myself that I had learned a new way of eating, and I could control my carb and food addiction I was so wrong. Instead I spent the last 7 months gaining and losing the same 12 to 15 lbs. I had some good food days never a good food week I started new every day. I join a bunch of low-carb groups and entered some low-carb weight challenges to help me control the carbs. I just end up frustrated. I know the issues I am having are not just food related during the last 6 months I battled iron deficiency, dehydration, migraines, food apathy, bottomless food feeding days (am in one now) Hypoglycemia, endometriosis, fibroids and now 3 lipomas. I also had to deal with a very tight financial situation; my marriages almost ended and double the work load at work. I feel so overwhelm most days, I barely get 4 to 5 hours a sleep at night. When I am Stress I eat lot craps with lots of carb in it and self-sabotage. I am going to be 16 months post opt next week, so I know I am still in the loosing window. I also know that my Ds work otherwise I would have gain at least 40 to 50lbs by now. I have try in the last 3 months to go back to basic (hydration, protein and fat) I would do well for a few days (2-3) than fall back to eating too much carbs, not enough protein and fat. I have yet to figure out what combinations work for me, all I know is if I eat less than 50gs of carb for the day I have a hyperglycemic attach. I am in therapy I am working on applying other coping skill instead of eating my sadness, stress and anxiety away. What I am asking you all is how did you figure out what works for you? Tracking works for me only during the day (I eat crap at night and on weekends). If any of you are night time eaters what do you do to minimize the bad eating at night? Not having the “bad” food in the house is not an option. Thank you P.S. I am a lap-band to DS revision, SW 296.6 CW 212.6 I am going to be 17 months post op next week, I have a 125cc common channel my surgeon is Dr. Roslin. I take my vites regularly and exercises 4 days a week. Dr Roslin is one of the better DS docs. First, remember the DS will ALWAYS work IF you follow the rules. You are not currently following the rules. Whether is counseling or whatever, you are the only one who controls what goes into your mouth. Sounds like you did not deal with food issues pre-op. Juices have too much simple sugar ! Plain and simple. Normies can drink within reason if their metabolism is not messed up. Your dehydration, you are not drinking enough water. Dehydration can cause so many problems. Combinations that work for all DS'ers are hydrations, protein, then small amounts of other items starting with complex carbs. If you need to make a list of NO foods. What we do here, is hubby has his snack cupboard and I have mine. I NEVER go in his, unless I am unpacking items from shopping, and I try to buy things I prefer not crave as well. Start your stress eating with protein....and lots of water, you should fill up fast and there will not be room for other items. You can do it !
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Post by louteg on Nov 19, 2014 23:42:38 GMT -5
I think he has to understand that at some point, if he is not supportive, he will lose you. Is that what he wants? Have you tried Ambien or Lunesta? I am going to start Lunette this weekend.
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Post by newyorkbitch on Nov 20, 2014 0:03:02 GMT -5
I think he has to understand that at some point, if he is not supportive, he will lose you. Is that what he wants? Have you tried Ambien or Lunesta? I am going to start Lunette this weekend. You mean Lunesta? Good. Make sure you take it when you have 8 hours to sleep, otherwise it is verrrrry difficult to get up. Also you MUST NOT be eating simple carbs and you MUST eat complex carbs and protein throughout the day. And you MUST drink a glass of water every hour.
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Post by louteg on Nov 20, 2014 0:05:45 GMT -5
I get a sense that your heart breaks every day, either from trying to be a good wife to your husband (and believing you are failing) or by trying to "fix" the lives of your students (which you simply can't). There must be a strong senses of failure in your life every day. I am glad you are in marriage counseling. Professional advice and intervention will help you to find the correct path for your marriage, whether that be reconciliation or divorce. You should be proud that you are confronting the problems in your marriage. Marriage is hard work. Know that you are exactly where you should be today, and trust your counselor's guidance on your future. I have so much respect for you for already taking this step! Your job is a tough job. It takes a special person to help these troubled kids. I place you in the same category as those health professionals who care for terminally ill children. It takes a special person to do that, and you are obviously very compassionate and kind-hearted. The thing is, I think your job is to help these kids with the traumas or circumstances in their lives. And you probably do this very well. But, it is not your job to "fix" it. You are powerless to fix all the indecencies of society. Give yourself a hug for DOING YOUR BEST to help these kids cope, surround them with love. You have to separate your job and the legal system's job, and get comfort that you are doing the best job you can. Easier said than done, I know. But counseling would really help here, even if is just to vent all your frustrations about the system to an independent party. Obviously, I am a firm believer in counseling. Frustrations from your daily job to frustrations with going home to a troubled marriage.....its no wonder you are unable to really focus on the eating! Get yourself in counseling and find some peace that while your life may feel out of control now, that you are doing everything in your power, today, to help you for tomorrow. It will be baby steps, and won't happen quickly, but I will pray that you find peace where you are in the process every day. Best wishes. Fullhousemom you describe how I feel to the letter about my marriage and work. I find it so hard to express how I feel most days that choose to use food to feel better in stead of dealing with the. Thank you for putting into words what I couldn't.
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Post by louteg on Nov 20, 2014 0:28:52 GMT -5
She is married to a traditional (aka sexist) Caribbean man who expects his wife to cook him traditional Caribbean food every day. It's a big problem. louteg - is the marriage counselor also Caribbean? louteg you want to change the implied contract of your marriage and your husband doesn't. The question is whether or not he can adapt to the changes you want (and need in order to stay healthy and alive), or whether you need to move on without him. NYB the marriage counselor is Caribbean Yes he does expect a traditional Caribbean meal every day. He fails to realize that eating that way in America where your not walking everywhere, or doing physical labor will lead to high cholesterol and obesity. I need him to realize that I can't eat like that anymore, my life and health is more important. I am not giving up our culture by changing things, I want modify it to meet the needs of my new inside. I'll still cook everyday but it won't be stew chicken made with brown sugar, or fry bake, no dumplings, macaroni pie, nothing made with all purposed flour. I need for him to put my needs first like I puts his. I pray that counseling will work.
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Post by Melinda on Nov 20, 2014 13:53:16 GMT -5
The one thing I was NOT prepared for with Lunesta (happened to my daughter, too!) is everything I drank tasted like BUTT the next day! It completely altered our taste for liquids. Even water. It was gross. Just because of that, we couldn't take it anymore - it was that bad for us. The one thing that actually does work for me, so well in fact that I take 1/2 of a tablet instead of a whole one, is Unisom! It's OTC but only buy brand. The generic is NOT the same ingredient. Shockingly, that makes me so drowsy and makes it so I can sleep all night yet I don't wake up feeling sleepy-drunk the next morning. I do make sure I can get at least 7 if not more good hours of sleep taking it though. I try to take it by 10 pm.
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