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Post by teachermomolp on Feb 18, 2014 15:24:07 GMT -5
OK- it really is my turn. March 10th is the day... I can't believe it! So much to do. Tell the boss, first... that will not be fun. My DH already blew up at me for the March 10th date!!! I should have "consulted" him, he says!!! I have been fighting for this for YEARS and now it's here and I should have consulted him first? Well, maybe I'll take a cab to the hospital! It's what's best for ME... so what do I do now?  ? Freak out is in full force! |
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Post by Girlrocker on Feb 18, 2014 15:58:28 GMT -5
Hi and good for you on the date though it didn't go over well with husband, is he asking you to move the date? Is he generally supportive of your quest for surgery, had you talked at all about how to plan, strategize in the event it could happen? All households, couples are different, not sure what your situation is with work, are their kids involved and such. But you might need to have a sit down with him to work out all the details, let him know you didn't mean to exclude him from that part of the process, but timing wise this works best, you're ready and you need to move forward - if that's the primary impetus on your part and/or that's what your surgeon has available, you might have to wait longer if you don't take this date. Something many of us learn is that while surgery is an enormous undertaking and we need our loved ones, some friends, to be on board, we do need to stand up for ourselves (for once) and adovate on so many levels, our surgery affects them too. So the more you can elaborate the more suggestions, guidance we can offer. Hang in there, these are the semantics that must be worked out, you're on your way now!
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Post by melanie74 on Feb 18, 2014 16:41:22 GMT -5
Congrats on getting a date! I understand the stress from spouse and work. I didn't tell work the true surgery reason - just that I needed surgery. I thought I would only be out 3 weeks ... Turns out I needed 6 for my recovery (lapband to DS surgery). I don't think they were thrilled - but it is what it is. My DH was supportive of my Jan date - but I had originally wanted December. He couldn't do December due to his own work commitments - and so we had to meet in the middle somewhere.  I will say that my recovery was tougher than expected - and if he hadn't have been able to be there to take care of me for two full weeks, I'm not sure I would have pulled through as easily because I had no one else to ask for support in that way. Less than three weeks till your surgery! It will fly by! |
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Post by Taterweight on Feb 18, 2014 16:46:10 GMT -5
Congrats on getting a date! We'll be here to cheer you on...post any questions you have so you're prepared. As for hubby, he might just need some time to wrap his head around it all. You're going to need his support so see if he is really needing an extra week or what his solution is so he has some control/ownership of it too. Best wishes and Good luck! |
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Post by teachermomolp on Feb 18, 2014 17:21:46 GMT -5
Thanks y'all! My boss was fine, although I was able to schedule the surgery around our Spring Break (I'm a middle school administrator). My husband, in a weird way, loves me the way I am...and now that it all became real today, I think he freaked out. He's overweight too and maybe he just wants me to stay the same... Anyway, I can't move my date because I don't have enough leave (I just started this job in July) and, frankly, I don't want to! Unfortunately, I don't know anyone in this new town, so I do have to rely on him for my help. I have two teenagers who are lovely- they will also do all they can for me, I know. I'm off to research and plan- and to visit to Vitalady FOR REAL this time!!! Whoo- hoo!
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Post by deedee484 on Feb 18, 2014 18:14:07 GMT -5
Yay for you!!! Congrats! |
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Post by nursemelanie on Feb 18, 2014 19:04:24 GMT -5
That's wonderful! I pray that your hubby will come around and be fully on board before your date. I too have a spouse who has no problem with my weight. She is slender herself, but has always loved my size. After 7 yrs of marriage, she is the one who has encouraged me to look into the DS. The improvements to my health, personal joy and future will ultimately benefit the WHOLE family. Could there be a little hidden fear that once you're "skinny"or "fit" that you may not be happy with him or his size? Gently calming those possible fears may also help.  VSG 3-2010/ consult for DS with Dr Boyce 2-27-14/Age 41/5'8"/HW 287/CW 279 |
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Post by calidreamer on Feb 20, 2014 2:18:37 GMT -5
Congrats! My husband is similar. I think he is slowly absorbing the idea. Good luck to you and I hope he comes around!
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Post by Girlrocker on Feb 20, 2014 11:04:38 GMT -5
Ah, yes, entirely possible he might feel insecure, afraid of the change for many reasons and you'll have to see how that goes, hopefully he'll come around, and you can always talk about those issues here too post-op, many people have discussed the challenges of their families and loved ones. All part of it and up to you how much you want to share, we're here for venting and listening of all kinds.
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Post by tina9999 on Feb 21, 2014 13:10:02 GMT -5
Congratulations on your date. The time will fly by.
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Post by teachermomolp on Feb 23, 2014 16:49:35 GMT -5
Oh..........that's a really good point. Lots of emotions here. We both know the DS really works... maybe we have some talking to do... wow- thanks!
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Post by Girlrocker on Feb 24, 2014 11:28:22 GMT -5
Oh..........that's a really good point. Lots of emotions here. We both know the DS really works... maybe we have some talking to do... wow- thanks! We've learned that while we undergo the surgery, we definitely put our loved ones through it too, no question. Talk it out, a good step to take, and keep us posted on how it goes, along with all the other details of your road to surgery. |
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? Freak out is in full force!
I will say that my recovery was tougher than expected - and if he hadn't have been able to be there to take care of me for two full weeks, I'm not sure I would have pulled through as easily because I had no one else to ask for support in that way. 
