Scale or No Scale?

[Ladytaz]

Still struggling with the maintenance thing. Such a mind f**k. I want to gain some weight. I just don't want to watch while it happens. I have put on a few pounds in the last few weeks and while I want that to happen I still hate to see the scale go up.
What I have realized is that I have never watched myself gain weight. Except when I was pregnant and for some reason that was okay, but other then that when I knew I was going to gain weight I avoided the scale and therefore could act shocked when I did finally weigh myself and see the number going up. I swear when I regained the last time, 70 lbs, it was a surprise, not that I had gained of course but how much. I really thought when I got on the scale at my doctor's office it was going to say something like 190, not 220.
So, do I hide the scales (yes, I have 2) and go by my clothes? Or do I keep weighing myself daily, because I tell myself I want to see if what I am doing is working?
What do successful maintainers do?

[So Blessed]

Gut-reaction emotion has nothing to do with being rational. It is what it is. Watching the scale go up, even when it was for something like PMS and I knew it was temporary used to make me crazy.

I have to weigh on a regular basis to stay accountable to myself. If I didn't, by the time I noticed a change in clothes, there would be too much damage control to do. I weigh just about every day and record it every Monday morning. That's been my routine since 2004.

[Ladytaz]

That's what I am afraid of. I know myself and I know how I can go into denial. I can rationalize anything. I want to stay accountable but I don't want to be consumed by it, either. I try to learn from my past mistakes and successes, also. In the past, the few rare times I managed to maintain a normal weight, I don't remember if I weighed myself often. I do remember that I didn't really worry about it, that I had figured out how I needed to eat to stay a healthy weight and as long as I did that I was fine. The problem now is I still don't know how I am supposed to eat. I am still learning so I feel like I need the scale to gauge how I am doing. I just don't want to see it. I want to just relax and let it happen. I am afraid if I don't weigh myself I will just let myself go hog wild like I have in the past.

[Ladytaz]

And I want to add, I don't remember ever intentionally trying to gain weight. That seems so counter intuitive to me, like everything I have ever learned or did was to lose weight, not gain it.

[So Blessed]

Since you're actively trying to gain, I don't know that I would consider this as truly a maintenance issue. I think of maintenance as when you've reached your goal and have been there for a while.

I would approach it sort of like a science experiment. Follow a certain routine for a week and then weigh. If you lose or stay the same weight, do something different.

How much do you need to gain?

[Ladytaz]

Well, I don't know if I need to gain since my health doesn't seem to be impacted negatively by my weight but I feel I would look healthier if I gained some weight. How much, I don't know. I know there is a period of time where there is redistribution of fat and I may look healthier at that time. Right now I feel my face is too gaunt and drawn looking and also my ribs stick out. Maybe at least 10 lbs? I have maintained in the past easily at about 118 lbs but that was over 20 years ago. I also look at feel good at 135 lbs and I also feel I look good at 140 to 150 lbs. Even up to 160 lbs. I know that is a wide range. I just feel that I look better at a higher weight and my boyfriend agrees and would like me heavier, too. He is just not attracted to skinny girls, never has been. Never complained even when I was 240 lbs. He seemed to like me best around 140 to 150. My surgeon would also like to see me there.
So, maybe that isn't a good answer but I just don't know exactly.

[So Blessed]

I would be inclined to go with the surgeon's goal.