|
|
Post by missliss on Jan 26, 2012 16:19:50 GMT -5
So, I am 8 years out and have been working on my eating issues for about 9 years as I began support group and therapy prior to my RNY because I wanted to be ready for the changes and make sure I was serious and up for the task. But, anyways, there have been ups and downs along the way for sure, but sometimes it hits me that I am recovering and have a more "normal" relationship with food whatever that means.
I have been working on our year end audit for work since the year ended. I have worked through lunch, worked late and even came in on a Saturday. But, it is over now, and the outside accountants I had been working with picked up cookies from a bakery in town and brought the box into my office to offer me one. I politely took one and automatically went to the breakroom and put it into a ziploc baggie to take home to my daughter as she loves those particular cookies. I just realized that cookie has been sitting on my desk for over 2 hours and I have paid it no attention or even thought about wanting to eat it. Wow!! Back in the day I would have eaten that one and oh, the rest of the box too. Ha.
I chunked the good food, bad food list and allow myself to eat what I want in moderation. I have found that I don't really want the cookies. They don't have the appeal they once had when they were forbidden. LOL. Now, don't get me wrong I do want a cookie every now and then and I allow myself to have one. I just no longer eat the whole box. But, today, I don't want a cookie. It's not even calling my name. And that is really nice.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sharyn, RN on Jan 26, 2012 20:40:40 GMT -5
So, I am 8 years out and have been working on my eating issues for about 9 years as I began support group and therapy prior to my RNY because I wanted to be ready for the changes and make sure I was serious and up for the task. But, anyways, there have been ups and downs along the way for sure, but sometimes it hits me that I am recovering and have a more "normal" relationship with food whatever that means. I have been working on our year end audit for work since the year ended. I have worked through lunch, worked late and even came in on a Saturday. But, it is over now, and the outside accountants I had been working with picked up cookies from a bakery in town and brought the box into my office to offer me one. I politely took one and automatically went to the breakroom and put it into a ziploc baggie to take home to my daughter as she loves those particular cookies. I just realized that cookie has been sitting on my desk for over 2 hours and I have paid it no attention or even thought about wanting to eat it. Wow!! Back in the day I would have eaten that one and oh, the rest of the box too. Ha. I chunked the good food, bad food list and allow myself to eat what I want in moderation. I have found that I don't really want the cookies. They don't have the appeal they once had when they were forbidden. LOL. Now, don't get me wrong I do want a cookie every now and then and I allow myself to have one. I just no longer eat the whole box. But, today, I don't want a cookie. It's not even calling my name. And that is really nice. Nicely done. I did lots of work before surgery, too. Some days are better than others, but win more battles with food than it wins with me. |
|
|
|
Post by Ladytaz on Jan 26, 2012 22:34:22 GMT -5
I am still doing work on my food issues, among other things. It seems all my coping mechanisms are gone, food, drugs, alcohol, gambling, smoking and whatever else I could find to ease the pain for a few brief moments. I haven't abused food since my surgery, probably the longest I have gone in my life. That means more to me then all the weight I have lost.
|
|
|
|
Post by reinventingangela on Jan 27, 2012 2:54:01 GMT -5
If I may ask, what types of therapy/counseling have you found to be effective? Eating disorders, addictive behavioral, 12 step?? I would like to know where to start.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ladytaz on Jan 27, 2012 5:13:05 GMT -5
I have 31 years of 12 step programs behind me. That helps a lot. And I am currently working with a new counselor who works with people with food issues, among other things.
I would start with OA if you can since it is free and pretty available. You can even go online although I like having live support. I don't go to OA anymore but I am active in a couple of other 12 step fellowships and the support really helps me.
If you are into reading there are a lot of self help books about eating disorders. I can't think of any right off the top of my head but they are easy to find.
For me, I started at the time I had my revision really doing a lot of soul searching and self honesty about why I failed my first WLS and faced the truth about my food addictions. Until I could be honest with myself it didn't help to seek outside help. I took it as far as I could on my own and then sought outside help.
|
|
|
|
Post by So Blessed on Jan 27, 2012 9:04:40 GMT -5
Congratulations with your success.  |
|
|
|
Post by missliss on Jan 27, 2012 9:22:35 GMT -5
If I may ask, what types of therapy/counseling have you found to be effective? Eating disorders, addictive behavioral, 12 step?? I would like to know where to start. I found a therapist who had worked for years at an eating disorder hospital and was certified to deal with them. That made a huge difference for me I think. I met her at the support group that I attended. She led the group. She then quit and started her own practice and Istarted going to her. |
|
|
|
Post by mo on Jan 27, 2012 10:01:12 GMT -5
Yay for you!!! WTG.
|
|
|
|
Post by missliss on Jan 27, 2012 10:55:27 GMT -5
Thank you everybody. It was a long road sometimes but worth the trip. I still have my moments when I struggle, but I am way better than when I started out. Hard to believe I am 8 years out already.
|
|
vicky
Junior Member
Posts: 55
|
Post by vicky on Jan 27, 2012 11:57:43 GMT -5
Sigh. I seemed to have moved the food issues to wine issues.
Every day I decide not to have the first glass and almost every day I convince myself to change my mind............
Congratulations on your success! Great job.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2012 12:32:13 GMT -5
If I may ask, what types of therapy/counseling have you found to be effective? Eating disorders, addictive behavioral, 12 step?? I would like to know where to start. Individual psychotherapy and none of the above. My therapist is eclectic in his use of the tools in his toolbox, but his main foundation is Adlerian. (Look up Adler's theories of personality and psychotherapy, there's a lot of good stuff out there.) |
|
|
|
Post by Sharyn, RN on Jan 27, 2012 17:24:51 GMT -5
If I may ask, what types of therapy/counseling have you found to be effective? Eating disorders, addictive behavioral, 12 step?? I would like to know where to start. I didn't actually focus on my eating issues. I did three years working on the underlying reasons that I overate and chose to be overweight - my history of sexual abuse. Being fat lets those fuckers win. And they ain't winning no more. ;D |
|
|
|
Post by missliss on Jan 27, 2012 17:38:08 GMT -5
If I may ask, what types of therapy/counseling have you found to be effective? Eating disorders, addictive behavioral, 12 step?? I would like to know where to start. I didn't actually focus on my eating issues. I did three years working on the underlying reasons that I overate and chose to be overweight - my history of sexual abuse. Being fat lets those fuckers win. And they ain't winning no more. ;D My therapy focused on the underlying reasons for my eating issues too. I think that makes a difference. Finding the reasons helps find the solution. |
|
|
|
Post by hala2215 on Jan 27, 2012 18:24:40 GMT -5
Great job...
I am close to 4 years post op.
Cookies, cake, most desserts do not bother me anymore either.
But that is most likely due to 2 factors:
1. Severe RH with starches / sugar
2. When I keep my carbs low - I really do not the sweets..
And when I do wnat carbs - I will get apple (in moderation) or I indulge on my fav protein bar - Power Crunch. But even those I don't buy much anymore...
|
|
|
|
Post by reinventingangela on Jan 28, 2012 18:45:48 GMT -5
Thank you all for your input.
Sharyn - I can relate and although I have had some counseling dealing with "root causes" I dont really feel it has been effective in a lot of ways...maybe I didnt go long enough (1yr), maybe I didnt have realistic expectations? I really dont know. I do HATE knowing that the longer that I let these issues impact my life (whether knowingly or subconsciously), the more power I am giving to my abusers in the end but for the life of me, I cant seem to find my way to caring enough about myself to do otherwise. I think being constantly disgusted by what I see in the mirror is indeed part of the problem which is why Im seeking the surgery. I look at myself and I feel nothing but shame and disgust for picking up the torch from my abusers and carrying on the abuse of myself with my self destructive behaviors (mostly via eating at this point but Ive done worse), yet I feel almost ambivalent at times to the idea of changing it.
Ladytaz - Ive been to OA a few times and I do believe Im a food/sugar/carb addict but I live in a small town and the meetings in my area were kinda scary with maybe 2 or 3 people and honestly I found it very hard to keep my mouth shut when listening to a woman rant for 20min about how her daughter put too many chilis in her birthday enchilada caserrole which caused her to go home and binge by making her own and eating the whole thing by herself. Im a bigger advocate for a group of people that will give it to me straight rather than sit there watching me hang by a thread over a void and never say a word beyond telling me to "fake it till you make it". I may retract this at some point and I do believe in some of the principles of 12-step programs but for now, this approach doesnt seem to "reach" me. I dunno maybe learning to keep my mouth shut wouldnt be a bad thing lol.
EN - Im googling Adlers stuff...I think I'll give the free mind development courses a try and see where that goes for starters. I can already see that this type of counseling might be a worthwhile approach for me as Im sure that my growing isolation is one factor compounding my issues.
Missliss - Im so proud of you for being able to manage a healthier relationship with food and thank you for giving me hope and starting this thread!
|
|
|
|
Post by Sharyn, RN on Jan 28, 2012 20:50:15 GMT -5
Angela, I had to allow myself to get really angry with my abusers and to vent that anger constructively before I made any real headway in therapy. You can do this.
|
|
|
|
Post by reinventingangela on Jan 30, 2012 2:03:52 GMT -5
Thank you Sharyn for the encouragement. Im angry all right, I just have to figure out how to stop taking that anger out on myself...logically and intelligently, I know it wasnt my fault but emotionally, its hard to get past the brokenness of it all.
|
|
|
|
Post by missliss on Feb 3, 2012 10:51:30 GMT -5
Thank you Sharyn for the encouragement. Im angry all right, I just have to figure out how to stop taking that anger out on myself...logically and intelligently, I know it wasnt my fault but emotionally, its hard to get past the brokenness of it all. I just wanted to give you a virtual hug. These things can be so hard. You just keep fighting the fight. Most of us are here today because we are survivors (fighters). You can do this, and you have a whole forum of folks here to reach out to and who can be encouragement when you need it. |
|
