Dalyah
New Member
Posts: 7
Surgery Type: RnY
Surgery Date: July 18, 2014
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Post by Dalyah on May 8, 2014 20:31:45 GMT -5
Hi everyone,
Does anyone else have an anxiety problem like me? Where situations are blown out of proportion and reading into things or expecting the worst and then it all ends up to be totally fine and then you feel stupid for getting all anxious about it? Well, I think I'm doing it again I think. And that's even ON anxiety meds. :/
Our journey so far: (my husband and I are doing this together. He's getting sleeve, I'm getting a RnY because of GERD and hernia). Orientation was in March. Family Dr visit was 3 wks ago to talk about all of this and needed a recommendation of wls letter from him according to the surgeon's office. 1st meeting with surgeon was on Tuesday. Nutritionist is next Wednesday and phych is the following Monday.
We gave the recommendation letter for our wls to the surgeon's office. surgeon's office insurance lady said that FP needed to write, "Cleared for surgery" (which he basically did write but just not in those wording). Our FP said he won't clear it until we do an EKG and blood work. Our bariatric surgeon and insurance lady said we do not need an EKG and they'll do the blood work. We just talked to our FP 3 wks ago about all this. Why didn't he tell us he wanted to do it then?? ugh I understand it's for his reassurance only because he feel's he's giving the OK for this but in reality it's not necessary apparently, and according to our surgeon's office. In fact, I feel it's redundant because I just had surgery 6 months ago and was monitored during and after surgery and everything was fine there (and many surgeries before that even) and hubby was just monitored during his colonoscopy 3 months ago during and after. If there was a problem they would have told us. I'm feeling like this is just another way our FP can make some more money because we'll have to make ANOTHER appointment to do it which is ANOTHER office visit fee. I don't know maybe I'm wrong. It just put a crimp on things. Especially since we were told by the surgeon it's not needed. I have severe anxiety over Dr stuff so the sooner all of this is over the better and the less stress my body goes through by having to go to the Dr's. I am SO afraid that my anxiety will affect the EKG result, which it probably will, and then I'll have to go through all the other stuff that a Cardiologist puts you through, whatever that is, which takes more time and money, all for nothing and the kids and I have a road trip to go on in mid-july. How many Xanax and blood pressure meds can I take before the EKG so that the anxiety doesn't mess it up? ha, (jk!)
This all probably sounds so silly and you're thinking, "it's no big deal, just do it". I'm thinking that too but the anxiety over having something not right on it just because I'm anxious makes me even more anxious!! ugh!!! So frustrating. I will probably continue seeing this psych after this. LOL The sooner I'm done with Dr's the better and safer on my body! I've had this ALL my life, even as a little girl, and it's literally making me crazy I just want to be normal. I thank God that my husband is my rock but he just doesn't understand.
Can ANYONE else relate? How do you handle it?
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Post by willowrayne on May 8, 2014 21:14:47 GMT -5
I get anxiety. Ekgs are a piece of cake and so non invasive. Even my Gastro wants one before a colonoscopy. I am such a hypochondriac that I love getting an ekg to verify I am okay. Breathe and hang in there. Try not to listen to the head talk.
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Post by historytracker on May 8, 2014 22:56:00 GMT -5
My husband has white coat syndrome. His blood pressure will be high in a doctor's office. He just hates doctors. I have him close his eyes and go to his happy place! (gee I wonder if it is one without me). Do worry - this is just who you are? I feel everyone needs to take care of themselves. It is better to know if you have something wrong so I do not mind going to the doctor. Just do some deep breaths or whatever you do to relax and just get through it.
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Post by goodkel on May 9, 2014 2:09:02 GMT -5
If your hernia is hiatal, odds are that fixing it will greatly reduce the acid causing your GERD, freeing you to get any surgery you wish.
An EKG is nothing to worry about. You know that.
When you start allowing yourself to feel anxious about it, close your eyes, breathe in slow, long, very deep breaths through your nose and then slowly release them through your mouth reminding yourself all the while that everything is fine.
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Dalyah
New Member
Posts: 7
Surgery Type: RnY
Surgery Date: July 18, 2014
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Post by Dalyah on May 11, 2014 19:35:59 GMT -5
Thank you. Yes, I do know. It's just hard to control my brain vs body reaction vs brain, etc. ugh I just started buspirone and spironolactone last month and I'm not sure if one of those is making it worse or if it's just me or what. I don't know. I will tell my Dr about it though. I really don't want to be on either of them though and they don't seem to help at all anyway. Just two more added to the 5 I already take, plus I had to stop taking my multivitamin because when I do take it while taking these two new ones my lower legs itch. I will tell him that too of course. I do have "White coat" syndrome. All my life. I don't know why. Even as a child my bp would be high because of the anxiety. The bp cuff/machine is not my friend. It fails me EVERY time. SO frustrating. I just want to be normal. In a week we see the psych for wls approval. I'm afraid to say the wrong thing to where she won't approve. I know I need to talk to her more about this though.
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Post by goodkel on May 12, 2014 21:47:51 GMT -5
The psych approval appointment is not to discuss your issues. Often people are just handed a test to complete. The goal is only to judge whether they find you mentally and emotionally capable of handling the surgery, not to assist you. It is often pretty cut and dried.
If you could use help with some issues, make an appointment with your own psychiatrist/therapist to work things out.
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Dalyah
New Member
Posts: 7
Surgery Type: RnY
Surgery Date: July 18, 2014
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Post by Dalyah on May 14, 2014 18:35:52 GMT -5
Right. This psych isn't just for wls evals. I don't plan on bringing up my anxiety issues and other stuff at this appointment on Monday. This appointment on Monday is just for the wls approval. I'm too afraid to mention all the other stuff in case she doesn't want to approve! HA!! If I like her then I will call her and schedule other appointments to discuss outside wls stuff. Oh, and of course, I had all that anxiety over a stupid EKG that never happened. pthththth. It's not required. So, we have our PCP's cleared for surgery letters this morning (and a new anxiety med because previous one was making it worse), had our NUT visit this afternoon (cost us $240 for a pointless visit), our psych apt is on Monday, surgeon's office will probably get her paperwork by Thursday or Friday then send off to insurance for approval which will take anywhere from 3 to 30 days.
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Dalyah
New Member
Posts: 7
Surgery Type: RnY
Surgery Date: July 18, 2014
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Post by Dalyah on May 19, 2014 20:16:23 GMT -5
Orientation with surgeon- done
Recommendation letter from PCP- done. Recommendation letter from PCP with correct wording to include "cleared for surgery"- done - after much irrational anxiety. Recommendation letter from PCP with correct spelling and type of surgery- done.
Nut visit- done (that was a pointless visit)
Psych visit- done. With not the greatest of visit because of misunderstanding? To me she felt like she was in my face about stuff. She asked the reasons why I eat (anxiety, sadness, alone, happy, blah blah blah) and I don't have any reasons except that the food tastes good and/or I'm hungry. So there goes up the red flag. I asked her why do I have to have a 'trigger' when I eat? Maybe I don't? I just like the taste of the food, can't it be as simple as that? She said yes but in more cases than not there is a reason why we eat. So apparently I should have lied with those questions to have made this visit not making it to where I wanted to cry and leave because she wouldn't believe me. She firmly believes I have to have some sort of 'trigger' of emotion(s) for making me eat and making me fat (ok, my word, not hers) She said the next time I go in to reach for something to eat just stop and feel what it is I'm feeling to make me realize why I want that to eat. I still call bullpoo on that. I eat what I want because it tastes good. Simple as that. And because I CAN. Another frustration was about eating junk after the surgery and I told her that I know myself well enough to know that I will want to try one mac and cheese (for instance) but if I allow myself to eat that one mac and cheese and nothing happens physically then I will think to myself that I CAN eat it and then it will eventually get to be eating too much of it and then I'll get fat again so I would rather not even TRY it in the first place. I told her that over 20 yrs ago I did cocaine for 5 months and quit cold turkey. I KNOW myself well enough that if it were in front of me now I cannot guarantee that I won't do it. This is why I don't even want to temp myself with the stuff I'm not supposed to be eating. But she was coming back and telling me that I WILL most likely eat that mac and cheese but that I have to have a plan if that food is fine on my body, ie: if craving something then distract myself and do something else. Put a check mark next to that food I'm craving that I wrote down on a piece of paper. After 9 times of distraction marks I can then 'reward' myself with a little bit of that mac and cheese. I have never heard of this suggestion before and I'm not sure how I like it but will think about it. So, I didn't like her messing with my mind, that I'm trying to condition to eating healthy foods, and telling it that it's OK to try the mac and cheese. I don't care if it's 3,9, 15 times after "distractions". MY mind thinks that if I give in to that one bite of non-healthy food and don't get any physical reaction then I'll be able to eat it without limits. That's just how my mind works and that's how I got in this situation in the first place. So she let me out of the room to start the stupid 561 T/F ridiculous questionnaire my husband was finishing up his. I told him how it went, I was shaking and about ready to burst into tears and was upset at the whole thing. I had to tell her about personal things I was hoping wouldn't come up that I need therapy in on itself but was hoping none of that would affect the outcome of her decision to approve and then our "misunderstanding". She could tell I was upset because I was holding my head down, trying not to cry, and answering her questions in short. She got the clue and said she was worried about me and she sat down and we talked about it again, with my husband there. I was worried about my GAD (general anxiety disorder), and some of the answers I gave her about my past and my family history stuff affecting her decision. I explained to her how I felt and we got it cleared up and she told me not to worry about a thing about this visit and that we are ideal candidates for wls. Now she just has to 'score' the bazillian questions, with a few that I did lie on, I think, I don't know, I'm not sure, those questions are just.plain.weird. and your brain starts to fizzle out about halfway through.
So now we wait. She said she'll have the papers to our surgeons office by next Monday and then surgeon's office will send on to insurance for approval that will take 3-30 days. The kids and I have a road trip to take in mid July so I'm crossing my fingers all of this can be done quickly so we can go.
We did talk about my anxiety and phobia (Dr's and the unknown) because I wanted to know if she could help me with it and she recommended a workbook for me to get. I will get that soon. I told her that I may see her again to help me figure me out with this.... but not until AFTER she sends in the approved reports. We all laughed. LOL! So I think with what happened above is that my thinking is different and comprehension is different and I take things the wrong way and get upset about it which increases my anxiety and anger. I tell you, this is not fun to live with, and I have to get some help with it.
So now we wait.
Added to edit: My PCP took me off of the buspirone because it was making my anxiety A LOT worse. It had the opposite effect on me. I don't need anything for every day use so we are trying Lorazapam as needed. I took .5mg before psych appt today. Probably should have taken the 1mg. HA
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Post by goodkel on May 20, 2014 0:40:16 GMT -5
I am not fond of this idea: I don't think that it is a healthy mindset to use/view food as a reward. If you don't trust yourself to stop after one bite, the healthiest thing you can do for yourself is to not take that bite. They don't tell alcoholics to reward themselves after nine distractions with a shot of tequila. Otherwise, congratulations on coming so far on the requirements for approval! Your happy news is right around the corner.
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Post by willowrayne on May 20, 2014 8:20:06 GMT -5
Not sure if it will help but this is what I use when I start getting and anxiety attack. ..
I take slow deep breaths and imagine clean white air/light going into my lungs and black air coming out until all the black is out.
Probably it is all related to the meditative effect but it really helps me.
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using proboards
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Dalyah
New Member
Posts: 7
Surgery Type: RnY
Surgery Date: July 18, 2014
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Post by Dalyah on May 20, 2014 8:37:49 GMT -5
I am not fond of this idea: I don't think that it is a healthy mindset to use/view food as a reward. If you don't trust yourself to stop after one bite, the healthiest thing you can do for yourself is to not take that bite. They don't tell alcoholics to reward themselves after nine distractions with a shot of tequila. Otherwise, congratulations on coming so far on the requirements for approval! Your happy news is right around the corner. I agree with you. It didn't make sense to me what she was saying and she was right away telling me that I'm going to fail if I don't get a 'plan' (ie, the one she advised above) because she has seen it happen before. I don't know. It just really made me upset. Glad it's done and over with.
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Post by newyorkbitch on May 20, 2014 21:51:43 GMT -5
I think a question you should ask yourself is this: it's not so much why you do eat, but why don't you stop when you know it's so unhealthy and making you more and more obese? I think the psychologist was trying to get you to talk about your compulsive overeating. So perhaps the question is not so much why you do eat (yes it tastes good and because you can)….but more so why can't/don't you stop yourself from overeating?
The DS is not going to change your psychology at all, so it is really important to work on the psychological issues you have with eating.
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Post by nursemelanie on May 31, 2014 1:41:32 GMT -5
It definitely sound like you are really suffering with the anxiety. Lorazepam is a very good drug for a short term affect...but I would personally suggest Effexor er(extended release).
I use to suffer with a lot of anxiety and panic attacks (years ago). We tried several meds and found Effexor er works wonders. I may have had 1-2 mild panic attacks in the last 5 yrs and that was only in a time of severe stress. There's no need for you to be suffering daily.
VSG to DS 7-01-14/ Dr Boyce in Knoxville /Age 40/5'8"/HW 287/CW 282
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Dalyah
New Member
Posts: 7
Surgery Type: RnY
Surgery Date: July 18, 2014
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Post by Dalyah on Jul 11, 2014 16:37:19 GMT -5
Hi I've been on Effexor (yuck) and a couple of others for many years and they made me worse. I don't need something for every day as I don't have anxiety every day, just something for when I need it. I've only had to take the Lorazepam once and that was last week on day 3 of this preop diet. Should have taken it on day 2 (was NOT an emotionally/physically good day) but I forgot about it. LOL But it helped A LOT! We have 7 more days until surgery and I'm trying not to think about it. So far so good. The hardest part is getting to sleep and not thinking about all of this. I've lost 7 lbs in a week and my husband has lost 10 lbs. I'm at the stage where I feel, "we don't need the surgery, we can do this ourselves" but then remind myself that we've been there, done that, and gained more. I can't wait to run again, play softball, soccer, have more energy and wear pretty clothes I'm comfortable in without looking pregnant! My little worry after that will be what to do with all the floppy skin?! (oh, and dumping. I don't ever want to do that!)
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Post by Girlrocker on Jul 11, 2014 17:22:37 GMT -5
Hi there, well you sound much better than you were awhile back, glad to hear that. I understand about anxiety medication being 'as needed', I have Xanax on hand for that. I didn't like Effexor either, and switched back to Prozac and been doing much better. Congrats on you and your husband both losing weight before surgery, it's really great. And everything else you said is typical pre-op jitters; no question surgery is an enormous adjustment, but once you get past the early recovery time, life does become pretty amazing step by step. For all the reasons you mentioned. Excess skin is the hazard of the morbidly obese, with or without surgery, in major weight loss, this type of loose skin and the volume we often have it in just doesn't go back. There are some procedures that can be approved by insurance, usually the panniculectomy, sometimes the abdominoplasty (TT). It's not easy though, with insurance in our country and it getting labeled 'cosmetic' instead of what it really is which is reconstruction. And you're having a DS so there's no dumping, you keep your pyloric valve, unlike the RNY where there IS dumping. DS people have some other challenges, usually sorting out which carb-related foods cause the biggest/worst bathroom issues. It's trial and error, which pretty much describes the whole recovery process and reintegration/food progression. You'll get there. Do you have any other questions as a pre-op? There's a roll call thread on here for pre-ops, you can of course start a new thread: weightlosssurgery.proboards.com/thread/9167/roll-call-upcoming-pre-doingAnd this one can help you prepare/get an idea of what to expect from surgery: weightlosssurgery.proboards.com/thread/8801/surgery-expect-planHi I've been on Effexor (yuck) and a couple of others for many years and they made me worse. I don't need something for every day as I don't have anxiety every day, just something for when I need it. I've only had to take the Lorazepam once and that was last week on day 3 of this preop diet. Should have taken it on day 2 (was NOT an emotionally/physically good day) but I forgot about it. LOL But it helped A LOT! We have 7 more days until surgery and I'm trying not to think about it. So far so good. The hardest part is getting to sleep and not thinking about all of this. I've lost 7 lbs in a week and my husband has lost 10 lbs. I'm at the stage where I feel, "we don't need the surgery, we can do this ourselves" but then remind myself that we've been there, done that, and gained more. I can't wait to run again, play softball, soccer, have more energy and wear pretty clothes I'm comfortable in without looking pregnant! My little worry after that will be what to do with all the floppy skin?! (oh, and dumping. I don't ever want to do that!)
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Post by nursemelanie on Jul 11, 2014 18:25:10 GMT -5
You do sound more calm. And although it is a little nerve wrecking, you are almost there!!!
Since I last posted, I've come to realize that the non-extended release Effexor is not anything like the ER. I don't know how much hormonal stuff goes on in the first 11 days. But if I can't blame these highs and lows and agitation on the DS, I need to switch meds.
7-1-14 VSG to DS w/ gallbladder removal, adhesion removals & repair of hiatal hernia Dr Boyce, Knoxville, TN HW 282 /SW 270 /CW 258/ loss to date 24 lbs
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