|
|
Post by MsVee on May 26, 2012 20:47:29 GMT -5
Last week I felt like I finally was turning the corner on the nausea. I am still struggling with the fatigue. My brotherr suggested that the fatigue is a result of my life right now.
That is entirely possible. My Mother who is 82 lives with me. She moved in shortly after my Father died in 2003. My mother was always very independent and is charming company.
Unfortunately, Mom had a stroke in 2010 and requires assistance. A typical day for me starts at 4:45. Mom is an early riser and needs assistance showering and getting dressed. Mom generally has breakfast by 6am.
Before surgery this worked out fine because I leave for work at 7:00 am. The morning ritual with my Mom is a time for us to talk and share. Mom also goes to bed with the chickens so if I do not spend time with her in the mornings we really do not have time to chat in the evenings.
I enjoy mornings with Mom and this has been our routine since her stroke. Since the surgery I am having trouble sleeping. I do not know why. I have suffered with insomnia in the past but never for this length of time.
On Wednesday, Thursday and Friday the nausea returned. I have returned to the safe foods that do not make me sick. I really do not have a desire for food or drink. I am taking my protein shakes and eating. I just tell myself it is medication so I just do it.
I know that this surgery is very different from the RNY. I also know that I should not compare the 2 recoveries but hey the RNY surgery was my only other surgical experience so unfortunately it is the surgical benchmark for me. I felt pretty damn good after the RNY in about 2 weeks. It is over 2 months and I am still struggling.
Although I am extremely happy for the success of others I am still doubting that I will get there. Hell the RNY did not work for me. I already have 1 weight loss surgery failure under my belt.
Sometimes when I read the boards and virgin DS people are posting although I know my situation is different from theirs I cannot help but make comparisons. but I do it anyway. Yes I know we are all different. We all lose weight at different rates. age is also a factor yada yada yada. I know those things but I still am struggling right now.
I had to put my scale away because the weight loss was not impressing me and it was making me crazy. I know I have lost weight based on how my clothes are fitting and for right now that has to be enough.
I am sick and tired of feeeling sick and tired. The dumb part is each day I DO feel better and stronger. I know the surgery was the right decision. I never thought it would be easy. I did think it would be easier than it has been.
I am getting nervous because I know I will have to return to work soon and I just do not see how I will make it through the workday. I guess I just needed to vent.
Boy that was a whole lot of whining.
MsVee
|
|
|
|
Post by ginany on May 26, 2012 21:05:19 GMT -5
I am almost 5 weeks out and I feel the same way. Im not tired anymore, that has passed. I cant eat and the reflux is just so bad right now I dont want any part of food or drink. I know I have to drink. I know how you feel.
|
|
|
|
Post by MsVee on May 26, 2012 21:33:09 GMT -5
The ironic part is I am feeling better but it feels like it is going so slowly. I miss food in a weird way. I am not hungry (nor do I want to be) but I do not feel like myself with this food apathy.
I can tell you I feel so much better now than I did at 5 weeks. It does get better but for me it seem to be taking too long.
MsVee
|
|
|
|
Post by luckylibrarian on May 26, 2012 21:45:29 GMT -5
I'm sorry you are still feeling poorly. I'm sending good vibes your way.
|
|
|
|
Post by bagaof4 on May 26, 2012 21:51:11 GMT -5
Your mom is so lucky to have such a devoted daughter! I am sure it is draining on you at a time your body has gone through some serious stress. It's good to hear that you are seeing progress and know that each day will bring improvement! Hang in there! We are all different in our healing and outside stressors! Sending you positive thoughts!
Pam
|
|
|
|
Post by Paula on May 26, 2012 23:20:14 GMT -5
Aw, MsVee....I totally know what you are going through. And it sounds like you have so much on your plate right now too. I know its a labor of love you wouldnt trade for the world because it sounds like you love your mom very much.
I think for us revisionistas (love Girlrocker's word for it), we cant help but compare what it was the first time around for us compared to this time. I know for me, I was on an emotional high the first time I had bariatric surgery that just was not there this time around. Dont get me wrong, I love not feeling like a total failure because I had gained back half the weight I lost with the first surgery...but there was more hope/optimism/happy crap that wasnt there this time around. Maybe thats why it seems to be so slow to feel normal again? I have total hope and faith with my DS, but I think Im more firmly based in reality this time around. I dont know...just spouting stuff off the top of my head.
I try to keep it in perspective. We had the mother of all bariatric revisions! We're bound to have a bit of a rougher go (you with your nausea and fatigue...me with my recurring stricture frienemy) the second time around. I truthfully didnt want it to be as easy for me with my DS revision as it was with my RNY because I honestly thought I might have taken it for granted. I have faith that its going to get better, even though I know you are feeling like crap right now. It will get to a point where we are loving our DS the way the vets are. I think it just takes us a bit longer to get there.
|
|
|
|
Post by chicarita on May 27, 2012 6:40:56 GMT -5
Last week I felt like I finally was turning the corner on the nausea. I am still struggling with the fatigue. My brotherr suggested that the fatigue is a result of my life right now. That is entirely possible. My Mother who is 82 lives with me. She moved in shortly after my Father died in 2003. My mother was always very independent and is charming company. Unfortunately, Mom had a stroke in 2010 and requires assistance. A typical day for me starts at 4:45. Mom is an early riser and needs assistance showering and getting dressed. Mom generally has breakfast by 6am. Before surgery this worked out fine because I leave for work at 7:00 am. The morning ritual with my Mom is a time for us to talk and share. Mom also goes to bed with the chickens so if I do not spend time with her in the mornings we really do not have time to chat in the evenings. I enjoy mornings with Mom and this has been our routine since her stroke. Since the surgery I am having trouble sleeping. I do not know why. I have suffered with insomnia in the past but never for this length of time. On Wednesday, Thursday and Friday the nausea returned. I have returned to the safe foods that do not make me sick. I really do not have a desire for food or drink. I am taking my protein shakes and eating. I just tell myself it is medication so I just do it. I know that this surgery is very different from the RNY. I also know that I should not compare the 2 recoveries but hey the RNY surgery was my only other surgical experience so unfortunately it is the surgical benchmark for me. I felt pretty damn good after the RNY in about 2 weeks. It is over 2 months and I am still struggling. Although I am extremely happy for the success of others I am still doubting that I will get there. Hell the RNY did not work for me. I already have 1 weight loss surgery failure under my belt. Sometimes when I read the boards and virgin DS people are posting although I know my situation is different from theirs I cannot help but make comparisons. but I do it anyway. Yes I know we are all different. We all lose weight at different rates. age is also a factor yada yada yada. I know those things but I still am struggling right now. I had to put my scale away because the weight loss was not impressing me and it was making me crazy. I know I have lost weight based on how my clothes are fitting and for right now that has to be enough. I am sick and tired of feeeling sick and tired. The dumb part is each day I DO feel better and stronger. I know the surgery was the right decision. I never thought it would be easy. I did think it would be easier than it has been. I am getting nervous because I know I will have to return to work soon and I just do not see how I will make it through the workday. I guess I just needed to vent. Boy that was a whole lot of whining. MsVee Not whining! You know I was switched about the same time and I feel exactly the same as you. I went back to work 4 weeks ago, but worked from home so it was no biggie. But last week I had to start flying again and going to meetings that start at 7am and end at 9 pm. I literally cried because I couldn't imagine how I would get through the week. But I did and you will too. You have so much going on, of course you're tired. Your body is still working out its new configuration and trying to get the anesthesia out. It takes time. I've compared this surgery to every other I've had and this, by far, was the very worst from a recovery time standpoint. Just expected to feel like snot for a week, tired for another one or two and then be at 75% capacity by the end of 4 weeks.n yeah right! I'm at about 60% after 8.5 weeks! As revisionistas (omg I love that!), it was a big surgery and our bodies need time to heal. I just started sleeping again, had insomnia for all this time too. So hang in there. Honor your body by listening to it. If you're nauseated, scale your diet back. If you're tired, rest. Even at work. Go outside and sit in the sun. Go sit in your car and close your eyes for a few minutes on a break (set your cell phone alarm to ensure a quick nap doesn't turn into an hour!). Just take it slow. Your body will adapt. Hang in there, it gets better every day. And PS, how blessed is your Mom to have such a wonderful daughter? |
|
|
|
Post by Girlrocker on May 27, 2012 9:32:35 GMT -5
{{{{Vee}}}} Ok first, I for one am GLAD to hear you 'whine' - it's not really whining, for starters, and second, I know you tend to hold things in. Nothing like spilling it all out there to get some perspective - as you were correcting yourself with each step  This is a BIG surgery. What someone noted to me at one point, these surgeries we've done are to make something new - not fix something broken. Huge difference. Before I had my onslaught of complications, I too was amazed at how I great I felt the first week post-op, considering what had been done. To the present - what was done didn't work. And had to be UNDONE. And REDONE. I don't know if you had gone into it prepared to write off 8weeks plus would have made a difference. But at some point we have to focus forward, and not over our shoulders. The nausea you are experiencing SUCKS, so many others have had that too. I'm so sorry you still feel like crap. I hope that you are indeed able to extend your work leave like we talked about, get a couple of months since you've been there over 20 years, you deserve it. And then figure out a way to carve some you time, while you are being the beautiful giving daughter you are. When you do go back to work, you'll do better than you think, I was worried because I'm anemic and so tired, and, my brain isn't always firing on all cylinders. But it's going fine. I'm tired, but fine. You're not mentioning what your weight loss is to date - I totally understand that, if you don't want to talk in numbers or share right now. The flip side is talking about it, what you're eating, etc. is the other way to get some guidance about next steps. And, never be afraid to call Dr. K and discuss this with him. You know how he tells us our DS is tailored just for us, based on our RNYs and what he had to undo/do? Same for our immediate post-op recovery. Us revisionistas share many things in common, but each of us is a little different, so you might need some guidance that's just for you.I hope getting this out helped you - only way we can embrace new things in our lives is creating the room for new ones to move in. I'm not going to lecture you on comparing yourself to others, especially virgin surgeries  I can tell you that over 5 months out, and still in a weight zone that makes my unhappy...I'm starting to look instead at how I really look and feel - and honestly? It's pretty good. I just saw a pic of myself taken from the side, and I couldn't believe how 'normal' I looked. My dream weight has always been 150. I'm starting to focus less on that now, even Dr. K's goal for me which is 160. I think I'd be great in 170s. 180s even. Especially if I can have the PS I need, get rid of all this excess skin. So hang in there my dear kind friend and keep reaching out. If you can't vent here, where can you?! xo you bunches |
|
I can tell you that over 5 months out, and still in a weight zone that makes my unhappy...I'm starting to look instead at how I really look and feel - and honestly? It's pretty good. I just saw a pic of myself taken from the side, and I couldn't believe how 'normal' I looked. My dream weight has always been 150. I'm starting to focus less on that now, even Dr. K's goal for me which is 160. I think I'd be great in 170s. 180s even. Especially if I can have the PS I need, get rid of all this excess skin. 