Missing food

[Fluff of Love]

Is there such thing as a "mourning" phase after surgery?

I have researched and read and understood that it will be a while before I will have a normal diet again. I have had to stop myself a few times from grabbing food during the day (such as making a bowl of cereal, making a sandwich, then realizing "crap, I can't eat this, I just had surgery!"

I'm almost upset, in a way. I miss food. Good food. My honey love muffin made some awesome smelling pork the other night, and I was mad that I couldn't have any.

I know I will be able to in a matter of time, but I can't help but to feel mad and even a little sad. Once the doc clears me for solid food, I think (hope) this feeling shakes.

[Deleted]

You will be able to eat "good food" again.

Just keep your eye on the prize!

I have felt what you describe a few times early out but it was mostly because I felt like I should be able to "eat more of the good food". It was infrequent and like many other problems, I just quit worrying about it. It is hard at first to get a realistic view of food. I am a foodie and now I don't worry about amounts, just quality.

This too, shall pass. ;D

[April M.]

Oh my, dear heart, yes. There is most certainly a mourning period for food, your old relationship with it (that will never be the same as the one you had pre-op), and your ability to stuff yourself with it. If you find yourself having more than an occasional twinge, like obsessing about it several times a day, it might be a good idea to talk to someone so you can sort through those feelings and not have them crop up again at the exact wrong time.

I think I still had twinges of mourning until I felt like I could actually eat... You know, sit down to a meal and eat more than 2 or 3 bites. Of course, YMMV. Good luck. It's not easy. As the saying goes, they operated on our guts, not our heads!

[sherbearmama]

I remember feeling the same way as you do--especially the first couple of weeks. But now (at almost 9 weeks) I have a surprisingly new perspective. I give myself permission to have a bite of whatever I want--as long as I keep focusing on protein first. However, I find that a bite is really all I can eat anyway. My stomach is so small that once I fill up on protein, the "yummy" foods that I should avoid most of the time just don't mean as much. I hope you end up going through the same evolution. At 9 weeks food just doesn't feel important. I hope it stays this way for a while because it's making life a little easier. Good luck.

[Sandra C.]

Hi Fluff,
A bit of depression is possible post surgery, especially as the drugs and anesthesia leave your body. I was so happy to be able to drop lots of weight it distracted me from missing my fav foods. I found replacement tastes that were very satisfying. Vanilla ice cream is /was my down fall- lots of vanilla protein shakes do the trick now. Later when you can eat more, try some of your fav foods, they most likely won't taste the same, you won't crave them like you did pre surgery. If you are still having brain cravings or "Head Hunger", support groups, bariatric therapy Topic group lectures help. My surgeons office offers free lectures weekly. If you need more individualized help, a few meetings talking with a psychologist really helps too. Ask your surgeons office for a referral for one who has weight loss surgery experience. You don't have to go through this alone, ask for help. Everyone is happy to help you get through the tough times. They have lots of experience with "Head Hunger"

I have gone to 3 lectures a week for 6 months, starting before surgery. I think of it as taking a course in D.S. education. Having the surgery is one step up the ladder to goal weight. Everything you can do to help the journey will make the trip so much easier. My surgeon said there will never be a time when I will be done learning about all the stages of D.S. life. I am so grateful to have had the surgery, and all the support care all along the way. I hope you can have a happy journey too, best wishes!!!

Sandra ;-)

[Girlrocker]

A little food mourning - and all other kinds of mourning - is pretty normal after surgery, it's like one giant release of hormones and emotions. My first surgery (2002), I remember being upset, even a little angry that I had to go through THIS to be 'normal'.

Let me try sharing another perspective. After years of misery after my RNY, the complete dead halt to my weight loss after 7 months, battling hard to get under 200lbs, I actually looked forward to the early post-op restriction of my revision. I know that food cravings, challenges will return all too soon, so I'm going focus on this hard to eat, I'm in the bathroom a lot time and think about other things. At 8 weeks out, don't have much choice anyway, still not always sure what will and won't agree with me, and I'll have a random bathroom episode when I think I've figured some things out.

I'm a compulsive, emotional carb-addiction eater. The RNY didn't work for me, but I did do a lot of work on changing my eating, which basically was a good foundation for how we eat now as DSers too, just don't have to worry about fat :-) But protein and later on, a good balance of good complex carbs is the way of life. Since we don't have the option of not eating (my addiction) I had to learn how to control it with food. A veteran at the time said something very wise to me and it worked- she told me to know what my trigger foods were (the ones where you start and can't stop) and avoid them for a year. It was pizza and french fries for me, so I did it. After a year, I had built up newer, better habits and the cravings were under better control.

Head hunger is real, and if you find you continue to struggle with it, work hard not to give in to it, and come here for support, maybe find a live support group. We had a saying that they operate on our stomachs, not our heads.

And the beauty of the DS is you CAN EAT, and I mean EAT. I still didn't fully grasp this my first couple of weeks, but now that I can eat a bit more, I'm starting to. Oh, the fun ahead! So, try to just surrender to this early recovery time, do the best you can to hydrate, get protein in. Is it fun? Not particularly But it's a special time, like someone hit a giant reset button, and you've got a whole new life you're going to live.

[Fluff of Love]

Thanks. It is just a random twinge, like someone said above. Like right now, my darling is being a brat and telling me how good his food is lol. He will get his smack in the head later when he least expects it

I don't have much of a appetite still, so most days are fine. I just take it day by day. Thanks for the input, I didn't want to feel unreasonable with myself. I'm very much looking forward to having my meats again.

[brybry76]

I missed food more in theory than in practice, because for the most part, eating hasn't been nearly as pleasurable post-op, which is a good thing. I find that even foods that taste good don't give me the same fulfillment, which is good because emotional fulfillment from food isn't healthy. Where you are at right now, you are so limited with what you can eat, that you are bound to feel deprived. Once you can add some different kinds of foods in a couple weeks, it will be better because you will have more freedom to choose. I recommend a book called "Intuitive Eating," it really helped me with my compulsion to eat and to comfort with food. Hang in there- it gets better!

[Sam]

Oh I totally get this! I literally cried when a friend drank a Coke in front of me a few weeks ago. I love Coke. Like, more than love it... and it seriously upset me. The same night at work, everyone ordered pizza and it really got to me. Not that I was missing out on the group activity, but that I really wanted some damn pizza! It's gotten easier though...as someone said, this too shall pass :-)

[litebrite]

Oh yes, I miss all the "bad" stuff--bread, pasta, fries,--carbs! The other thing I miss so much is fruit, sometimes that is worse than the "bad" stuff. I just try to focus on my goal and a healthier life!


I had a similiar experience as the person you mentioned the Coke. It was Chinese food, I almost cried I wanted it so bad. I didn't eat it and it passed.

[Fran]

Oh yes, I so remember. And am still wishing I could have some pasta. At first I so wanted diet dew. When I was told I could try it, it tasted like crap. The taste of soda is so disgusting to me.