OMG! What the hell am I doing?

[bugirll]

I keep having flip out moments where I think "what the hell am I doing?". Surgery is March 19th in Belgium. I have all my ducks in a row, have been researching everything. But then I read about complications and it becomes real. This is serious shit!! My biggest fear is infection after I get home. That I will go to the hospital and no one will know how to help me because so many poeple are ignorant of the DS.

I am a nurse and have seen all kinds of crazy stuff and feel like I am as prepared as someone can be. I feel a little desensitized to all this and then I just get these moments of feeling like Im bat crazy for doing this. Then it goes away and I am fine. I hope this is normal.

On the other hand, I cant wait to have it done. I am in so much pain this week with my plantar faciitis. I cant walk but a few steps and I have to run after my two year old.

Thanks for letting me vomit my thoughts on you.

[sarahanne]

Yeah... perfectly normal! Best thing is to look at the befores and afters and try and digest that that will be you in 12 short short months!

[mark540]

Damn right it's serious stuff. I think that is part of the reason it takes a while to get things scheduled- you need time to study up on things and really know what's happening and make plans for how you will change your life.

All that aside, the complications you are already living with and the future ones ahead of you without a change in lifestyle are pretty serious stuff too!

I assume you researched your surgeon and have chosen a good one and the possibility of infection is there. I had no problem with the surgery but in the two years before the surgery I ended up in the hospital twice a week at a time due to celulitis in my legs caused by lymph edema. Since I had the DS and VNUS closure done on my legs I have had no problems with celulitis. I used to carry a dose of antibiotics in my truck and everywhere I went to start taking as soon as an attack would start up. It was usually once every two months for about 3-4 years with only 2 of the incidents being serious enough to put me in the hospital for IV antibiotics.

Don't want to be a wet blanket but there is always a complication somewhere out there waiting even if you do nothing.

My biggest problem right now involves vitamin D. It's getting resolved but slowly. All things said I am deliriously happy with my decision to have the DS.

[Eileen_nc]

Jan 19, 2012 9:37:07 GMT -5 bugirll said:

I keep having flip out moments where I think "what the hell am I doing?". Surgery is March 19th in Belgium. I have all my ducks in a row, have been researching everything. But then I read about complications and it becomes real. This is serious shit!! My biggest fear is infection after I get home. That I will go to the hospital and no one will know how to help me because so many poeple are ignorant of the DS.

I am a nurse and have seen all kinds of crazy stuff and feel like I am as prepared as someone can be. I feel a little desensitized to all this and then I just get these moments of feeling like Im bat crazy for doing this. Then it goes away and I am fine. I hope this is normal.

On the other hand, I cant wait to have it done. I am in so much pain this week with my plantar faciitis. I cant walk but a few steps and I have to run after my two year old.

Thanks for letting me vomit my thoughts on you.

Yep, it's normal to have the feelings you describe. Being a nurse I would imagine it may be even more jittery nerves by your medical background alone. Then again, it could be a comfort since knowledge is power.

Infection is something serious as you know, but I'm sure you'll be pumped full of antibiotics and sent home with Neosporin like salves for your incisions and drain tube, or feeding tube. Be proactive and have a ICE folder ready--describe the DS in laymen terms and school your significant other or contact person on the DS and what your wishes are. If you click on my sig line, you will see a link called DS Sticky. There is an awesome link there about this issue and how we can protect and advocate for ourselves.

[Band to DS]

I understand how you feel & I don't even have a surgery date yet! I think that being a nurse makes it especially scary because we've seen all the things that can go wrong. My biggest fears are that I'll have a post-op leak or that they'll nick my liver in the OR. I also don't know how I'll cope if I have persistent nausea/vomiting after surgery. BTW, these are all things that have recently happened to my surgeon's patients. :-(

WLS of any type is a leap of faith, especially for those of us who haven't developed life-threatening complications from obesity yet. It does seem like the majority of people - even those who've had complications - reach a point when they're happy with their DS and don't regret their decision. You know what helps me feel better? Read through one of the Before/After threads on OH. (There are several of them.) You'll be amazed at how good people look & how happy they are.

Best wishes,
Shelli

[larra]

Your feelings are very normal, and yes, this is serious surgery. But think about where your life and your health are going if you don't have surgery. The risks of surgery seem more threatening because they are so immediate, but the risks of doing nothing are actually greater.
As far as infection goes, any hospital should have docs who can recognize a wound infection, regardless of what surgery was done. If there is concern for a leak or abscess, iinsist on a CT scan with contrast. And as someone else recommended, have your DS info ready and handy to bring with you just in case you need to go to the ER.
Most people don't have these major complications, but it's best to be prepared.

Larra

[Girlrocker]

Yes, very normal! You as a nurse do see everything, so you have more insight than the average person, and now you'll be the patient. I do hope you have a very experienced DS surgeon. I know the waiting time is cuckoo, but I think too it"s a great way to read up, be inspired, prepared. We have to be proactive about our care. If your surgeon isn't providing post-op regimen printouts, you can do your own, or print out threads as mentioned above. I have all my materials in one notebook so they are accessible at all times. I think we also put ourselves through some extra grief, thinking WLS is 'elective'. But with serious health problems that will only worsen over the years, the psychological, emotional pain of morbid obesity, destroyed metabolism, surgery is the tool to get us on the road to health. I wish you well, we'll be rooting for you.

[bugirll]

Thanks everyone! Yes my surgeon is very experienced, I grilled him, and I found him through DSFacts.com. I have spoken to others who have had him and speak very highly of him.

I had a tummy tuck several years ago and had some minor complications. I had a drain sticking out from either end of the inscision when I came home. They were expected to stay in for up to 10 days. Well two days after the surgery, I looped one around a drawer knob and yanked, yes yanked out one of the drains that was sutured in place. The other one worked its way out and I ended up pulling it out completely. I then developed a seroma that needed draining many times.

I feel like one of those people who have fabulous luck and have horrible luck. Maybe that just makes me human.

[scoob]

Didn't read all comments but wanted to say, Make you in charge of your health care. Make a little booklet of what your needs are and carry it with you. You can find most of these things on dsfacts. YOU make sure they understand what you need. I just had surgery and was out cold, just come from recovery to room. My DH had been trying to wake me with no success. A nurse comes in and starts spouting about how I take too many Multi Vites. My DH says I almost come up outta the bed. I made my point and I got my vites. Also appoint a loved one, friend or fellow DSer to be "in charge" if you can't be. You gotta learn how to take care of you. I'm lucky that some of the docs around here know of the DS and it's workings but have to force my case because Husted gave it a bad rap. You can do this! It starts to become natural with practice.

Ruby

[calendargirl]

Megan, with regard to the plantar fasciitis, I'm on my third podiatrist about the very same problem, and this one has already relieved the pain by half or more after two visits... so try someone else if your first foot doctor isn't helping.

Best wishes on your DS journey!

[beth28]

Is your PCP on board? Have you educated him or her?

I worked in our local hospital, but had to travel to get my DS. Many weeks before my surgery, I educated my PCP, and went to the hospital to visit some of my former co-workers. I was also looking for my favorite surgeon. I had the good luck to run into him (but I would have made an appointment to see him if I had to).

I spoke with him at length about the DS. I wanted to know what (if anything) he knew about the DS. I found out that he knew a great deal about it, just didn't perform it. I told him that I just wanted to make sure he knew enough to at least stabilize me enough to get me to my DS surgeon (2 hours away) in the event of an emergency. ;D

I trust this surgeon and my DS surgeon with my life. But it reassured me to talk to the local guy.....just in case.

Since you are a nurse (I was a secretary), maybe you know some medical personnel you could educate?

[bugirll]

I meet with my new PCP Feb 2nd. My original PCP was kaiser, so when I switched insurances, I had to switch PCPs. I was originally going to to have RNY and that surgeon recommended this new PCP. They work together for the same hospital that is 10min from my house. So if the shit hits the fan I have a bariatric familiar PCP, whome I will have to educate about the DS I expect, and a bariatric surgeon who is familiar with me who could stabilize me until I got to a DS surgeon. Unfortunately I had to leave my Kaiser PCP. He is not that familiar with the DS but was willing to learn and willing to order all my labs.

So Feb 2nd I will find out how much this PCP knows about DS and I will come with a packet of information for him.