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Post by smokinstella on Jan 11, 2012 6:31:35 GMT -5
First I want t o thank goodkel for making a heavy weights section. Now hopefully we can get a good little chatter going here about our challenges as heavyweights and what we do to deal with them
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Kim S
Full Member
Posts: 125
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Post by Kim S on Jan 11, 2012 16:22:04 GMT -5
I'll start it off - going from SMO to "just" obese is a huge victory in my books. I'm down to what some people have as a starting weight (I'm currently 224) but I'm so much healthier and able to get out and do things. I'm never going to hit a BMI of 25 or less but if I never lose another pound I'm already so happy with where I've gotten to.
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Post by smokinstella on Jan 11, 2012 19:08:15 GMT -5
I feel you Kim. I dont care if I ever get a normal bmi after my surgery I just want to be able to move easier and do things with my family. Its so hard when you have to tell your family its ok just go with out me, when on the inside your breaking cause you really want to go but would just be in to much pain for days afterwards.
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jessyw
New Member
DS 7/11/09 Dr. Marchesini
Posts: 16
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Post by jessyw on Jan 11, 2012 22:27:49 GMT -5
Hello I started out at 535 pounds with a 90 something BMI. I am currently 225 pounds and doing well, I understand I may never get down to as low in weight as I would like, but thats okay. I am happy with my current size. I also had a condition called Lymphedema in my legs that was pretty intense before surgery, now it has pretty much gone away. I still have a little bit of swelling in my left leg but its not a bother. I am happy to have lost 310 pounds and I am still shooting to loose a bit more weight. -Jessy
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Post by Leonie on Jan 13, 2012 3:23:42 GMT -5
I started at 147kg, with a BMI of 53. In three months I have lost three kgs (six pounds). This year is going to be slooooow.
My biggest problem is that I am way too sedentary. I spend the days in front of the computer or doing handcrafts.
Walking hurts my knees I feel so useless when I try physical work like using a spade I sit and wash dishes because my back gets sore within a few minutes.
OK, I need to head to the exersise board
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Post by oblack1994 on Jan 13, 2012 5:08:37 GMT -5
Good job Jessyw!!! Keep up the good work, that's a lot of weight off! Looking great!!
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nextchapter
Full Member
Dr. Ross McMahon 1-7-2012 (VSG)
Posts: 104
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Post by nextchapter on Jan 14, 2012 0:47:03 GMT -5
I am still waiting for my insurance approval. I am at my highest weight ever. I have been hovering around 215 but over the last year and half, I have steadily gained 105 pounds. Due to a lot of stress. I have never been in a normal BMI range as an adult, not sure as a kid either.
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Post by petham on Jan 14, 2012 16:46:48 GMT -5
I started at 147kg, with a BMI of 53. In three months I have lost three kgs (six pounds). This year is going to be slooooow. My biggest problem is that I am way too sedentary. I spend the days in front of the computer or doing handcrafts. Walking hurts my knees I feel so useless when I try physical work like using a spade I sit and wash dishes because my back gets sore within a few minutes. OK, I need to head to the exersise board Give yourself some extra credit 3 kgs is 6.6 pounds ;D
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Post by smokinstella on Jan 14, 2012 20:35:16 GMT -5
I started at 147kg, with a BMI of 53. In three months I have lost three kgs (six pounds). This year is going to be slooooow. My biggest problem is that I am way too sedentary. I spend the days in front of the computer or doing handcrafts. Walking hurts my knees I feel so useless when I try physical work like using a spade I sit and wash dishes because my back gets sore within a few minutes. OK, I need to head to the exersise board Hey 6 lbs is better then no lbs I feel you I have a chair in my kitchen with wheels on it so I can scoot around while I cook and do dishes since I cant stand for long with my planter faciatis and back issues. I have been trying to lose weight since I saw my all time high of 482 back in august and I have managed to lose 23 lbs, but that has been with feeling like I am starving half the time. Exercise is almost impossible with the amount of pain I have so I try to just sit and do the arm motions to my kids dance video games which helps
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Post by So Blessed on Jan 18, 2012 16:15:36 GMT -5
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Post by Stella Blue on Jan 31, 2012 22:17:12 GMT -5
Hi all....I went from 487 to 179. I'm having a really hard time tonight. Depression is a big problem for me, I think I look like a circus freak. I have a botched TT and so much skin everywhere else. I knew I would look weird when I "signed up", but some days I cannot handle it. I look "normal" in clothes (Sort of) but naked....I am so ashamed. My fiancee weighs like 350, He made fun of my breasts over a yr ago (made a joke about "Flapjacks" that instantly made me sob) He says over and over how sorry he is, but I can't believe him. I don't know what to think. It still hurts Anyone else having body image problems? Before I lost the weight I would have never thought I could be unhappy at this size. What the hell is wrong with me?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 1, 2012 20:38:40 GMT -5
Hi all....I went from 487 to 179. I'm having a really hard time tonight. Depression is a big problem for me, I think I look like a circus freak. I have a botched TT and so much skin everywhere else. I knew I would look weird when I "signed up", but some days I cannot handle it. I look "normal" in clothes (Sort of) but naked....I am so ashamed. My fiancee weighs like 350, He made fun of my breasts over a yr ago (made a joke about "Flapjacks" that instantly made me sob) He says over and over how sorry he is, but I can't believe him. I don't know what to think. It still hurts Anyone else having body image problems? Before I lost the weight I would have never thought I could be unhappy at this size. What the hell is wrong with me? ***hugs*** Are you in therapy hon? If not, you need to be. How about depression meds?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 1, 2012 20:44:36 GMT -5
Hi all....I went from 487 to 179. I'm having a really hard time tonight. Depression is a big problem for me, I think I look like a circus freak. I have a botched TT and so much skin everywhere else. I knew I would look weird when I "signed up", but some days I cannot handle it. I look "normal" in clothes (Sort of) but naked....I am so ashamed. My fiancee weighs like 350, He made fun of my breasts over a yr ago (made a joke about "Flapjacks" that instantly made me sob) He says over and over how sorry he is, but I can't believe him. I don't know what to think. It still hurts Anyone else having body image problems? Before I lost the weight I would have never thought I could be unhappy at this size. What the hell is wrong with me? ((((hugs)))), the mental part is so difficult. Consider speaking to a therapist, you are gorgeous. I didn't see how far out you are so this may not apply but what I've found is being further out my body shape has changed some and it's gotten better.
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Post by Sharyn, RN on Feb 1, 2012 21:12:14 GMT -5
Hi all....I went from 487 to 179. I'm having a really hard time tonight. Depression is a big problem for me, I think I look like a circus freak. I have a botched TT and so much skin everywhere else. I knew I would look weird when I "signed up", but some days I cannot handle it. I look "normal" in clothes (Sort of) but naked....I am so ashamed. My fiancee weighs like 350, He made fun of my breasts over a yr ago (made a joke about "Flapjacks" that instantly made me sob) He says over and over how sorry he is, but I can't believe him. I don't know what to think. It still hurts Anyone else having body image problems? Before I lost the weight I would have never thought I could be unhappy at this size. What the hell is wrong with me? Aw, hun. I feel ya. While I "only" started out at 265, I have maintained a 105 pound weightloss for nearly 8 years. My breasts have gone from being shelves that sat under my chin, to looking like tube socks with baseballs in them. I really don't like the way my body looks nekkid. I'm not sure there will ever be enough money for any plastic surgery, so this is the body I have. I have to love it for what it can now do for me: Shop for hours on end Sit on the floor AND get up without help Chase my kid around the community pool Walk 3+ miles Run, if I wanted to Work 12+ hour days as a nurse Be on top I'm sure there's more, but you get the picture. I'm sure what your fiancee said hurt. My wife and I both had RNY and have similar after effects of the surgery on our bodies. We are able to joke about it. You have to find the humor, otherwise you will go off the deep end. You have come so far. Don't let what your body looks like define your success.
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Post by loulou7 on Feb 1, 2012 21:19:05 GMT -5
I'm not convinced that any of us, fat, thin or anywhere in between think we look good nekkid. Most of us look much better with our clothes on.
Everyone told me it takes a while for your mind to catch up with your weight loss and realize you aren't as big as you used to be, or as big as you think you still are. That was true for me. I still don't recognize myself when I catch a glimpse of myself in the window. But it's getting better over time.
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Post by justelizabeth on Feb 1, 2012 22:41:14 GMT -5
If I get involved with someone new I always have this moment of fear the first time I get naked in front of them. I always feel the need to warn them prior to seeing what they will be getting. But, once we are "in the moment", I realize that this person wants to be with me. If he didn't he wouldn't be there.
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Post by Leonie on Feb 2, 2012 6:22:19 GMT -5
I have officially lost two more pounds. I also cut out all the bread the dietitian put me on. Wheat just doesn't agree with me. So now I am eating more like a DS'er and feeling better. Even if I gain weight because of the bacon fat, I am feeling much more energetic.
Fortunately our insurance does not demand a six month dieting period, but I do want to get more active. I think all the joint pain was the gout playing up - I needed oiling!
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Post by Stella Blue on Feb 3, 2012 0:14:44 GMT -5
I had surgery in '08 (Someone was curious). I am in therapy, for 2 years now...and I was on an anti D, I stopped it last month, I couldn't sleep. I am also on Xanax, at night for sleeping mostly. I have had anxiety about this, bigtime. Maybe I a just in the wrong relationship. Crap. My therapist won't outright SAY it, but she seems to hint at that alot. Ug. I LOVE him, I really truly do, but I don't think I am supposed to hurt this much. I felt pretty before I met him, for the 1st time in my life (And for a while after) and over time the "jokes" and the lack of physical interest on his part since the deflation of my body (I was 240 when we met post op) have just worn me down I guess. Is this body image stuff? or a bad relationship? It's hard to say. I caught him downloading "BBW T*TS!" porn recently. Great. Sorry to unload. I just can't say this stuff to my real world people, unfortunately. EDIT ~ I forgot to thank you all for being so nice...Thanks. I hope I'm less screwed up than I sound, reading back thru all this^junk I just typed. Haha
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Feb 3, 2012 12:36:02 GMT -5
You deserve MUCH BETTER than what this guy is dishing out.
It's both, I bet. Body image stuff AND a bad relationship. In good relationships, there is respectful conversation and no putting down of body changes. IMNSHO there is also no downloading of porn behind the partner's back. That would be a serious business deal breaker for me, as in out the door and GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE.
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Post by So Blessed on Feb 3, 2012 13:01:47 GMT -5
Stella, he's a pig. Dump him.
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Post by mo on Feb 3, 2012 15:47:35 GMT -5
Stella ***HUGS***. Nobody deserves to have to deal with that kind of stuff, everybody deserves much better and if he can't do better then he doesn't deserve you!
*ETA to add a word I'd left out
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Post by Stella Blue on Feb 3, 2012 20:21:12 GMT -5
I just want to feel/know that I am respected and LOVED. HE says the word but they sound hollow. He cries sometimes when he talks about how he loves me, if that is true than why do his actions not reflect it? I am so confused.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Feb 3, 2012 22:10:35 GMT -5
I just want to feel/know that I am respected and LOVED. HE says the word but they sound hollow. He cries sometimes when he talks about how he loves me, if that is true than why do his actions not reflect it? I am so confused. Believe what people SHOW you hon. That's why his words sound hollow. You are living through incongruency. When words and actions don't match, believe the actions. Maybe he has some feelings for you, but has lost the sexual attraction. Is that how you want to live? It's not like you're married or have children or own a business together, yes? Perhaps you will wind up being good friends. But THIS shit? That ain't it.
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Post by Stella Blue on Feb 5, 2012 21:38:53 GMT -5
After going to counseling the other day and talking this out with my therapist I calmly explained to Mr X how the porn and that one stooooopid mean comment 2 summers ago (joke? Not funny) made me feel, and how when I met him I felt pretty, and how I don't now. He is in major butt kiss mode. I think he might understand a little. I'm gonna hang in there, no one is perfect and I am one tough bitch to please (I really am) Being alone for 34 of my 37 years made me that way. I am used to having a kung fu grip on everything in my world, so sharing it, and my emotions is hard. He said he joked about my bewbs because I do....he's right, I used to. It just hurt so bad to hear someone else. I may do it as a defense mechanism I...like I did when I was SMO...Joke about it before someone else does so I'll fit in or something demented like that. Why would I do that to me? Need more therapy here :/ I pretty much decided to focus on ME for a while. He has actually been around alot more, and has been romantic and sweet since I backed off. He hurt me and I have communicated that now, instead of brooding. I think this is a step in the healthy direction. We'll see what happens. Time will tell. Thanks guys
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2012 15:14:42 GMT -5
Good move, Stella. Communicating about something so sensitive can be really hard because it's so vulnerable. I don't have any real answers because, you're right, time will tell. But boy can I relate.
So I'm in the 300+ range again (damndamndamndamndamn) and hoping/planning for a revision in the next few weeks but I had a similar kind of relationship on my way down (the scale) about 11 years ago.
We were engaged. He made some comment about my deflated body parts and I couldn't believe it. Was he more attracted to my body when we met (at 250) than at 200? For all the many mindf*cks of both obesity and WLS, getting my head around the physical/sexual attraction thing and the body image stuff has been the hardest.
Ultimately I left that relationship because I realized it wasn't where I wanted to be. I just wanted to reach out and say I can relate. However your relationship with Mr. X evolves, seems to me that by opening up you've done good things for your relationship with you. And THAT will always matter!
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Post by Shawnie (kouklamonkey) on Apr 17, 2012 9:42:40 GMT -5
Stella B, I wanted to share something with you because I recognized some of my own life experiences when I read your posts and I know that sometimes it's nice to hear others' stories when you're questioning yourself and your choices in life.
I was previously married for 17 years and we had some similar relationship issues as you have described. We met when I was 18 and weighed 115 pounds. I waited so long for our relationship to mature or morph into they type of romance you see in movies and read about in books. It never did. Why? Because that's just not who he was, and that's just not who we were together. He was a good man, did the best he could, but he was never going to be who and what I need. He did love me, it's been 6 years since we divorced and he says he still loves me and I'm sure he does, but the best I can tell he just wasn't into me. I think he felt a lot of guilt which would produce the occasional tears when we discussed our issues, but there is no way he loved me the way lovers are supposed to love each other. It hurt, I got mixed signals all the time, and it was confusing and frustrating for us both. I think he's still perplexed as to why we divorced. Was it my fat that turned him off? I don't know because we still had sex from time to time. While he never complained, he never did the things men do and say to women they are into, and it made me terribly self conscious. There was nothing he could do to convince me that he was attracted to me. I had gotten to the point of feeling like I was dying inside. I blamed myself for most things and I felt guilty when I blamed him for anything. Eventually I didn't care whose fault it was anymore, I hardly knew who I was, and I had enough of a lackluster non-romantic marriage.
Now that I am married to a very different type of man and have a very different (for the better) relationship, I can see very clearly that I should have never been with my ex because we simply did not mesh romantically. After experiencing what I consider a true romance, I would never ever settle for that type of love affair again.
I met my current husband on a message board (music related) and we connected right away. Shortly afterwards we began talking on the phone daily and I knew I was falling in love with him. I was certain he would not reciprocate my feelings because I had seen pics of his exes and there wasn't an ounce of fat between them so I knew there was no way he could be attracted to my 400+ pound ass! Thankfully I was wrong and the rest is history. My husband leaves no doubt in my mind how he feels about me. He gives me constant affirmations and romance. I'm not saying our relationship is perfect, we're both drama queens, but no matter what's going on he makes sure I know I'm beautiful and appreciated. We make each other feel wanted and sexy. There is nothing to hide, no secrets, no wondering. It's the way it should be. It's the sweet love you hear about. Yes, I do still hate the way I look but I hated the way I looked when I weighed 115. The difference is, I don't feel like HE hates the way I look.
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Post by swaglious on Jan 11, 2014 23:38:58 GMT -5
What does smo stand for?
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Post by bboop on Jan 12, 2014 1:02:34 GMT -5
Sevearly Morbid Obese
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Post by newyorkbitch on Jan 16, 2014 20:43:08 GMT -5
Or Super Morbidly Obese
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