brandy9776
New Member
Posts: 27
Surgery Type: DS
Surgery Date: Aug. 5, 2014
Surgeon: Dr. Sudan
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Post by brandy9776 on Dec 4, 2014 20:29:30 GMT -5
Hello ladies, it's been awhile since I've been on here. I had my surgery 3 1/2 mos ago, and I'm doing great. My mom on the other hand had her surgery one week ago and she's got me so upset along with my dad. The nurses and the nut told her to stay away from the forums on the internet that you ladies don't know what your talking about. Well, now my dad had boldly told me he wasn't allowing my mom to eat the stuff that I eat, that she was only gonna follow the nut's advise. I have tried telling him that they don't know what they are talking about and that they follow only the RNY guidelines as to what we are suppose to eat. That a lot of patients have ended up in the hospital malnourished from following the nuts. They basically told me I don't know what I'm talking about and that neither do you vets and that the dr and nut went to school for this and know everything about it. My mom even told me that Sheila from Dr. Sudan's office specializes in the DS and nothing else. Where she got this from I have no clue. Please ladies, please I need your help, I need help to explain this stuff to my mom so she will understand how important this is. I'm close to tears right now! I'm scared because of this. Help!!!
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Post by Simba on Dec 4, 2014 23:57:34 GMT -5
brandy, this is very difficult to accept but once you realize you have no power over others and they have free will it will help you, sometimes that means letting people come to the ends of themselves. you have to let your mother go, and your father, the choice is theirs not yours, doesnt matter if you tell your mom that tomorrow you could tell her how to lose all her weight, until she is ready to listen she will not. Find it intersting that they say to keep away from DS forums, but oh well. I am sure she will have routine lab work, maybe she will reach out if her vit/min supplement is rny geared and not ds geared. have some peace in knowing you did all you could to help you mom-parents but you cant force your will on others-that in itself is very freeing
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Post by cherylbaker on Dec 5, 2014 6:57:42 GMT -5
brandy, this is very difficult to accept but once you realize you have no power over others and they have free will it will help you, sometimes that means letting people come to the ends of themselves. you have to let your mother go, and your father, the choice is theirs not yours, doesnt matter if you tell your mom that tomorrow you could tell her how to lose all her weight, until she is ready to listen she will not. Find it intersting that they say to keep away from DS forums, but oh well. I am sure she will have routine lab work, maybe she will reach out if her vit/min supplement is rny geared and not ds geared. have some peace in knowing you did all you could to help you mom-parents but you cant force your will on others-that in itself is very freeing My surgeon told me not to listen to those "internet people who think they know everything but don't really know anything that they are taking about".. I think leading by example is all you can do.. if you follow your plan and you lose weight that will show them you are doing the right thing. . You have to remenber though everyone's body is different and just cause sonething works for you doesn't mean it will work for your mom
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Post by Melinda on Dec 5, 2014 9:04:16 GMT -5
There will come a day where you will be able to compare your lab results to hers. Then you'll be able to explain why her protein is tanking and yours is not. You'll also be able to explain why she is having more bathroom issues than you as she consumes more carb-laden RNY diet type foods than you. She is a big girl, Brandy, you have to let her make her own decisions for her health, even if that means learning the hard way. Remember the first year or two her labs might be stellar as she lives off of her body's stores. You can remind your Dad of that when he tries to use that as "proof" that her nutritionist knows her stuff. Some nutritionists actually do. I am blessed that my surgeon's office finally got one that DOES know the difference between RNY and DS eating. Focus on you right now. You have to. You cannot control what they think, feel, do or believe, you know? Remember, a lot of us had our DS's many years ago and were in unchartered territory as well. I'm still here to talk about it.
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Post by goodkel on Dec 5, 2014 12:55:06 GMT -5
She's starting off on the wrong foot.
But, hopefully she will listen to you when she finds that it is not working for her.
Take a deep breath and give it time.
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PeteA
Full Member
Posts: 221
Surgery Date: 4/15/13
Surgeon: Dr. Phillip Schauer
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Post by PeteA on Dec 9, 2014 14:20:45 GMT -5
Don't forget it is early days for both of you. It will take a while for any differences to show up. I would just keep talking about the things that can't be argued - LABS. Talk to her about the importance of following her labs and tracking trends in her vitamin levels. Also, help her with whatever goals the surgeon and Nut come up with. She will still have all the early on issues everyone has about liquids and protein. Be supportive so they will listen to your advice later on.
Oete
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