PeteA
Full Member
Posts: 221
Surgery Date: 4/15/13
Surgeon: Dr. Phillip Schauer
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Post by PeteA on Jul 20, 2014 6:37:27 GMT -5
I'm not quite sure how I really feel about this but it is a kind of victory.
I'm having lunch yesterday at my bother's and my sister in law comes out with "Don't you think you've lost enough weight?" . I was kind of amazed because that is not how I see myself at all. I'm 6:1, 251 lbs this morning, and a BMI of abput 33 (not even down to just Obese on the charts yet.)
I've come an amazingly long way on my journey but I have a hard time seeing what other people are seeing... I guess that is something I have yet to come to terms with. My goal with my surgeon was 220 and I am just now starting to believe I'll actually get there but wherever I stop I'm thrilled with my DS. Internally, I still see the fat guy, just not as fat as I used to be.
LOL. I think I now weigh less than any male in my immediate family.
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Post by west4thavenue on Jul 20, 2014 9:03:26 GMT -5
That's the coolest thing ever. You must be looking pretty hot, Pete.
A distorted self image is one of the hallmarks of having been obese. I'm a textbook case. The only way I have ever been able to really see myself was via a photograph. As a result, I became camera shy (not to mention nearly a hermit). When I worked outside my home, I "knew" I was big, but I couldn't see myself that way in the mirror. I don't believe I would have been able to get out of bed and leave the house if I did! There was so much shame in my family over being obese that I developed a a very finely tuned filter that allowed me to see only the trappings (hair, makeup, clothes), but not the body.
Your goal sounds really attainable. You are so close! If you are getting comments like, "Don't you think you've lost enough weight?", it may be time to take a photo! And if you do, please share it with us! I am a very happily married lady, but I sure do like to look at handsome men!
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Post by meq815 on Jul 20, 2014 10:45:27 GMT -5
Shoe shopping last night, up and down the aisles at DSW, I found myself avoiding the full length mirrors. Hadda remind myself I don't have to do that anymore.
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Post by illinids2 on Jul 20, 2014 11:07:05 GMT -5
I hear you Pete. I hear all the time "aren't you going to stop losing" or "when are you going to stop"? My answer is, it is not under my control and I am just along for the ride so I will end up where I end up.
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Post by goodkel on Jul 20, 2014 14:14:00 GMT -5
This is practically universal. People worrying about you losing too much weight. At the end of the rapid loss window many people can look haggard for a period of time until their fat redistributes and their skin bounces back a bit.
The best answer is the truth," My BMI is in range and my surgeon is pleased with my results. If I actually ever get underweight, there are steps I can take to stop it. But, I am far from that now."
Or for busy bodies who have no right or reason to know,"My medical issues are a private matter between myself and my physician. Thank you for respecting that."
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Post by west4thavenue on Jul 20, 2014 14:40:56 GMT -5
"My medical issues are a private matter between myself and my physician. Thank you for respecting that." Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Thank you.
Thank you!
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Post by Girlrocker on Jul 20, 2014 16:00:27 GMT -5
Pete, well, welcome to a whole new world of snark! Nutty isn't it putting it mildly. I'm thrilled for you and your success, and you are such a tremendous support here. I never used to understand how it was possible that people still saw the fat person...until I only saw the fat person It's taken my DS revision to finally feel/see the difference. Photos helped, as did properly fitting clothes. I'm no small chick by a long shot, but I still see clothes and think no way that will fit, and then they do. Happened to me again last night. I also remember the first time it hit me HARD that I didn't have to shop in Lane Bryant specialty big girl store anymore, I literally could go anywhere. Goodkel offers up a great explanation about the 'strangeness-gaunt-like' look we can have at first; I have just said, it takes awhile for us to 'grow' into our new bodies. I've learned to master the technique of politely smiling and responding vaguely, You will too!
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Post by mark540 on Jul 23, 2014 13:18:26 GMT -5
At one point I swore the next person that called me "gangly" I was going to kill them.
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Post by jpcello on Jul 23, 2014 14:11:57 GMT -5
At one point I swore the next person that called me "gangly" I was going to kill them. Yup - I also think that because when we're fat we have no wrinkles. I swear I look 10 years older than I am simply because I have more wrinkles than I did when I was fat. Oh, and BTW you are amazing -- "high:626 surgery:562 current: 250" And you look marvelous (definitely not gangly).
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Post by Joanne on Jul 23, 2014 16:40:21 GMT -5
Some people think that because we had WLS that it's ok to comment on our weight. For awhile I think we become a topic of conversation, the subject of a lot of scrutiny.
Who knows what motivates people. We do go through rapid changes. Giving people the benefit of the doubt, we do lose unevenly, change rapidly, and it probably does look like a lot at first - even when we're not too thin by a BMI measurement. On the other hand, some people just like to sabotage and stir up trouble. I've met all kinds.
Things tend to even out both from your weight, your body adjusting, and people getting used to the new you.
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Post by illinids2 on Jul 23, 2014 17:07:40 GMT -5
Some people think that because we had WLS that it's ok to comment on our weight. For awhile I think we become a topic of conversation, the subject of a lot of scrutiny. Who knows what motivates people. We do go through rapid changes. Giving people the benefit of the doubt, we do lose unevenly, change rapidly, and it probably does look like a lot at first - even when we're not too thin by a BMI measurement. On the other hand, some people just like to sabotage and stir up trouble. I've met all kinds. Things tend to even out both from your weight, your body adjusting, and people getting used to the new you. I have been very open with people so I don't mind the comments which are mostly very positive and well meaning. I really don't think I have had any negative comments that I can recall (then again I can't remember last Tuesday) and I understand it is sometimes the "elephant in the room" (no pun intended) and sometimes people just don't know what to say. It is almost more bothersome to people who haven't said a word to me but clearly notice. BTW, I am glad you post an avatar. You look great.
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Post by Joanne on Jul 23, 2014 17:17:06 GMT -5
Some people think that because we had WLS that it's ok to comment on our weight. For awhile I think we become a topic of conversation, the subject of a lot of scrutiny. Who knows what motivates people. We do go through rapid changes. Giving people the benefit of the doubt, we do lose unevenly, change rapidly, and it probably does look like a lot at first - even when we're not too thin by a BMI measurement. On the other hand, some people just like to sabotage and stir up trouble. I've met all kinds. Things tend to even out both from your weight, your body adjusting, and people getting used to the new you. I have been very open with people so I don't mind the comments which are mostly very positive and well meaning. I really don't think I have had any negative comments that I can recall (then again I can't remember last Tuesday) and I understand it is sometimes the "elephant in the room" (no pun intended) and sometimes people just don't know what to say. It is almost more bothersome to people who haven't said a word to me but clearly notice. BTW, I am glad you post an avatar. You look great. Thanks, Scott. I think the negative (or more commonly, back-handed compliment) type comments are more common with women. I definitely went through a phase of that with friends and family, but sooner or later people get more used to the new you.
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