Post by Girlrocker on Jun 21, 2013 17:01:02 GMT -5
Hello! I am sorry to be MIA for much longer than I ever imagined. It wasn't intentional, it seems like I was a year out, and BAM, my life went into a crazy, productive vaccum. Some would say it's 'living life', and I guess it probably is 
It wasn't a conscious decision, but I do think besides having so many balls in the air and being productive and a bit overwhelmed, I needed time to decompress from the surgery part of my life being front and center. It had been for so long, since having my RNY in 2002.
I think another part of me also was quietly waiting for 'the other shoe to drop'. After all I went through with my RNY, the complications, losing a job, only to remain at 200+. So there was always an inner voice saying, this won't work either or something will implode.
My revision recovery time was truly remarkable, being able to be off work from my toxic job for five months. Since I lived a mere 15 minutes from Dr. K's Glendale location, I was able to meet a lot of people from this board who came here, some became friends I will have for life. It was a time of great healing, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I had to learn to square my shoulders, make peace with all the years I lost to obesity, including the battle after my RNY.
Making the decision to look into a revision, finding this group and Dr. K was life-changing. It was Dr. K who helped me take myself off the hook, to finally understand that I didn't fail, my surgery procedure had failed me. Once I really knew that, a tremendous burden was lifted.
I wrote a lot chronicling my first year post-op, and posted other links to older posts, on this one here (for you future revisionistas)
weightlosssurgery.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=talk&action=display&thread=5598
I got into the 160s by 11 months out, which I couldn't believe (surgery weight was 240). My 'dream' weight was 150s, but I had been saying I could live in 160s, 170s; so getting there was pretty shocking and amazing. So was my recovery, smooth, complication free. Having had WLS already, I was very well prepared in much of the initial, early recovery, overall lifestyle adjustments with tweaks/changes for the DS, and OMG being able to eat, eat, eat.
People talk about the RNY dumping - which I did, and it sucked - but now instead, I have an overall reaction to certain carbs, mostly white flour, and something odd like sugar alcohols. Or too much spinach/high fiber vegetable in one sitting. So it's like dumping still. And if I eat something that doesn't agree, oy, look out, besides the 'toots', when I have to go to the bathroom, I have to GO, I have had some unbelievable embarrassing accidents, thankfully private and not public. Dealing with the bathroom at work and other public places awkward, but I'm armed with good sprays and such is life, this is my normal and I'll take it.
I eat all the time, stick to protein, complex carbs for my starches, and in vegetables/lower sugar fruits. I drink a 60g protein shake daily as a supplement, along with my other vitamins. My numbers are better overall, not anemic, my D3 and A needed work too, got iron infusions, D/A shots too (OW). When I'm on the go, I'll eat Subway tuna sandwiches, cheeseburgers, chicken tenders, and the white flour here doesn't seem to bother me too much if it's loaded with a lot of protein. I know I can get hard boiled eggs and string cheese at 7-Eleven, basically, I'm never stuck. I eat pizza, chocolate, whatever when I want it, which isn't often, because I do feel on top of my carb addiction, though I keep a very watchful eye on it. I work out 4-5x a week, and it's the FIRST time ever in my life I can work out to keep healthy, fit NOT slaving trying to figure out how to lose weight, working out 2 hours a day, bootcamp, the works.
I have never in my life felt this free, liberated or peaceful. 160s meant not just a number, but my entire body changed, I saw things I hadn't seen in YEARS! I also developed- in addition to the major excessive skin through my mid section, hips, upper thighs (need a body lift), the infamous sharpei look, arms, calves. And the once DD boobs than went to a D...are now maybe a small C, or full B. Which I am thrilled with, other than the fact I can trip over them. (lift would be nice, pass on filler).
I am constantly dealing with firsts and new unknowns that are sooo much fun. Clothes shopping has been like being my own barbie doll. And I'm relaxed, casual, but good god it is FUN. I bought my first single-digit pants (8) and cried in Old Navy. Mind you, the pants are also teal skinny jeans. Still can't believe it when I wear them. And this is spilling into my overall taste, home furniture, as I lightened up internally and externally. I feel connected, whole in a way I didn't think I'd ever be.
And then, out of the blue, something strange happened...I dropped into the 150s. Wasn't trying, was perfectly happy where I was, but had to get on/off the scale 3 times, move it around to make sure I was seeing correctly. So now I hover around 155-156. If I could have the PS, holy cow; if I can't, as much as I don't love the hanging skin, I can deal. I'm sure I'd feel differently if I were 20 years younger, but a certain grounded-ness comes with being 50 that's actually pretty cool. I'm starting to do a bit of research, see what if anything might be possible to get covered by insurance (not optimistic).
In the last six months, I launched two business prospects for myself, one as wellness/weight management coach and the other producing an intimate music/art 'salon' series. I cooked for a couple in their 80s for 3 months, teaching them how to eat for (her) diabetes (his) heart. Unbelievably rewarding and insane hours on top of my full time job. I launched the music series in April as the cooking job was winding down, and I do publicity for a band in Chicago I've been working with since 1999, our record release date is this week and we did a series of preview shows and a recent stint in Texas. So it has been INSANE. And then? after 7 years living in studios in LA, where I moved after living in Chicago my whole life, finally found a real home to plant my feet. And had to move in FOUR days, travel to Texas with everything boxes, leave everything in boxes because the paint/floors were coming AFTER I moved in.
And I mentioned my full time job is high stress and toxic, and the hours were brutal in April and May on top of it. So was my living situation the last two years (landlord became temporarily insane, eventually losing the house I rented to foreclosure). Temporary place for five months, housemate was a douchebag.
Somehow I've managed to keep up my volunteer work, though had to cut back on some of the weekend stuff. This is literally the first time I've been able to pick my head up, but yet I'm exhilarated! Adorable 2 bedroom, 1920s craftsman bungalow (duplex), porch, front yard/back yard, garage, AND coachhouse that will be office, guest room, family room. Awesome housemate, neighbors. Finally getting the rest of my stuff out from storage in Chicago.
I wanted to keep this not too long...HA! But here are some photos too, y'all will appreciate the first one, taken at Sonny's Barbacoa in Corpus Christi, DS DREAMVILLE!
I'll be around more, because I want to be. I like hearing how people are doing, and being there for new people. Thank you for all the support, I can't imagine going through this revision process without this place.
DS Traveling Breakfast of Champions
Hiking in Scottsdale, AZ, in itself, amazing, and, never wore anything like this ever
One of the "I can't believe this is really me" pics
Before, at my heaviest, and this 'funky' top from an open market in London I thought was slimming:
Before, when I had my RNY, nearing 280, and at my revision, was 240
It wasn't a conscious decision, but I do think besides having so many balls in the air and being productive and a bit overwhelmed, I needed time to decompress from the surgery part of my life being front and center. It had been for so long, since having my RNY in 2002. I think another part of me also was quietly waiting for 'the other shoe to drop'. After all I went through with my RNY, the complications, losing a job, only to remain at 200+. So there was always an inner voice saying, this won't work either or something will implode.
My revision recovery time was truly remarkable, being able to be off work from my toxic job for five months. Since I lived a mere 15 minutes from Dr. K's Glendale location, I was able to meet a lot of people from this board who came here, some became friends I will have for life. It was a time of great healing, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I had to learn to square my shoulders, make peace with all the years I lost to obesity, including the battle after my RNY.
Making the decision to look into a revision, finding this group and Dr. K was life-changing. It was Dr. K who helped me take myself off the hook, to finally understand that I didn't fail, my surgery procedure had failed me. Once I really knew that, a tremendous burden was lifted.
I wrote a lot chronicling my first year post-op, and posted other links to older posts, on this one here (for you future revisionistas)
weightlosssurgery.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=talk&action=display&thread=5598
I got into the 160s by 11 months out, which I couldn't believe (surgery weight was 240). My 'dream' weight was 150s, but I had been saying I could live in 160s, 170s; so getting there was pretty shocking and amazing. So was my recovery, smooth, complication free. Having had WLS already, I was very well prepared in much of the initial, early recovery, overall lifestyle adjustments with tweaks/changes for the DS, and OMG being able to eat, eat, eat.
People talk about the RNY dumping - which I did, and it sucked - but now instead, I have an overall reaction to certain carbs, mostly white flour, and something odd like sugar alcohols. Or too much spinach/high fiber vegetable in one sitting. So it's like dumping still. And if I eat something that doesn't agree, oy, look out, besides the 'toots', when I have to go to the bathroom, I have to GO, I have had some unbelievable embarrassing accidents, thankfully private and not public. Dealing with the bathroom at work and other public places awkward, but I'm armed with good sprays and such is life, this is my normal and I'll take it.
I eat all the time, stick to protein, complex carbs for my starches, and in vegetables/lower sugar fruits. I drink a 60g protein shake daily as a supplement, along with my other vitamins. My numbers are better overall, not anemic, my D3 and A needed work too, got iron infusions, D/A shots too (OW). When I'm on the go, I'll eat Subway tuna sandwiches, cheeseburgers, chicken tenders, and the white flour here doesn't seem to bother me too much if it's loaded with a lot of protein. I know I can get hard boiled eggs and string cheese at 7-Eleven, basically, I'm never stuck. I eat pizza, chocolate, whatever when I want it, which isn't often, because I do feel on top of my carb addiction, though I keep a very watchful eye on it. I work out 4-5x a week, and it's the FIRST time ever in my life I can work out to keep healthy, fit NOT slaving trying to figure out how to lose weight, working out 2 hours a day, bootcamp, the works.
I have never in my life felt this free, liberated or peaceful. 160s meant not just a number, but my entire body changed, I saw things I hadn't seen in YEARS! I also developed- in addition to the major excessive skin through my mid section, hips, upper thighs (need a body lift), the infamous sharpei look, arms, calves. And the once DD boobs than went to a D...are now maybe a small C, or full B. Which I am thrilled with, other than the fact I can trip over them. (lift would be nice, pass on filler).
I am constantly dealing with firsts and new unknowns that are sooo much fun. Clothes shopping has been like being my own barbie doll. And I'm relaxed, casual, but good god it is FUN. I bought my first single-digit pants (8) and cried in Old Navy. Mind you, the pants are also teal skinny jeans. Still can't believe it when I wear them. And this is spilling into my overall taste, home furniture, as I lightened up internally and externally. I feel connected, whole in a way I didn't think I'd ever be.
And then, out of the blue, something strange happened...I dropped into the 150s. Wasn't trying, was perfectly happy where I was, but had to get on/off the scale 3 times, move it around to make sure I was seeing correctly. So now I hover around 155-156. If I could have the PS, holy cow; if I can't, as much as I don't love the hanging skin, I can deal. I'm sure I'd feel differently if I were 20 years younger, but a certain grounded-ness comes with being 50 that's actually pretty cool. I'm starting to do a bit of research, see what if anything might be possible to get covered by insurance (not optimistic).
In the last six months, I launched two business prospects for myself, one as wellness/weight management coach and the other producing an intimate music/art 'salon' series. I cooked for a couple in their 80s for 3 months, teaching them how to eat for (her) diabetes (his) heart. Unbelievably rewarding and insane hours on top of my full time job. I launched the music series in April as the cooking job was winding down, and I do publicity for a band in Chicago I've been working with since 1999, our record release date is this week and we did a series of preview shows and a recent stint in Texas. So it has been INSANE. And then? after 7 years living in studios in LA, where I moved after living in Chicago my whole life, finally found a real home to plant my feet. And had to move in FOUR days, travel to Texas with everything boxes, leave everything in boxes because the paint/floors were coming AFTER I moved in.
And I mentioned my full time job is high stress and toxic, and the hours were brutal in April and May on top of it. So was my living situation the last two years (landlord became temporarily insane, eventually losing the house I rented to foreclosure). Temporary place for five months, housemate was a douchebag.
Somehow I've managed to keep up my volunteer work, though had to cut back on some of the weekend stuff. This is literally the first time I've been able to pick my head up, but yet I'm exhilarated! Adorable 2 bedroom, 1920s craftsman bungalow (duplex), porch, front yard/back yard, garage, AND coachhouse that will be office, guest room, family room. Awesome housemate, neighbors. Finally getting the rest of my stuff out from storage in Chicago.
I wanted to keep this not too long...HA! But here are some photos too, y'all will appreciate the first one, taken at Sonny's Barbacoa in Corpus Christi, DS DREAMVILLE!
I'll be around more, because I want to be. I like hearing how people are doing, and being there for new people. Thank you for all the support, I can't imagine going through this revision process without this place.
DS Traveling Breakfast of Champions
Hiking in Scottsdale, AZ, in itself, amazing, and, never wore anything like this ever
One of the "I can't believe this is really me" pics
Before, at my heaviest, and this 'funky' top from an open market in London I thought was slimming:
Before, when I had my RNY, nearing 280, and at my revision, was 240
)
