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Post by luckylibrarian on Apr 29, 2012 18:00:51 GMT -5
Years ago, I couldn't even say the word obese. I was in so much denial about my size and wanted to believe that as long as I could still get a date, I wasn't really that fat. I couldn't watch tv programs about WLS or the plight of the obese. I would turn the channel, or leave the room when they came on. My Boyf at the time was, and still is SSMO. He loved the programs, but I just couldn't take it.
Times have changed. During the past year I have gotten really serious with myself. Almost everyday I have lurked on the boards, talked about WLS, and watched the programs on tv and online. I'm getting real with myself.
I stand nearly 5'5" and weigh 379 lbs. There. I'm out now. I feel exhilarated admitting this.
I have chosen the DS and Dr. Anthone as my surgeon. I have had my consult with him (10 hour roadtrip) and am awaiting insurance approval. I am a public school librarian, so I am hoping to get my surgery this summer on my 13 week vacation. Wish me luck!
I just wanted to "out" myself and say hello. ;-)
Kristen
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2012 18:28:00 GMT -5
Hello, Kristen!! facing something is always an excellent idea, good for you for saying it out loud.
congratulations!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2012 18:44:41 GMT -5
Yay you! Congrats on looking the icky stuff in the face. It's hard fersure.
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Post by larra on Apr 29, 2012 18:49:55 GMT -5
That took courage! congratulations.
Larra
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Post by luckylibrarian on Apr 29, 2012 19:37:21 GMT -5
Thanks, y'all! My insurance approval is pending, I should know something this week. As per Anthone's orders, I need to lose 4 lbs by surgery date. Atkins, here I come!
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Post by honeybadger11 on Apr 29, 2012 21:11:29 GMT -5
Good luck Kristen! I think it was you who i was talking to awhile back about a "story" to tell the kids...well i wanted to let you know i had my 1st student notice my WL the other day at almost 6 months out and over a 100lbs down! And all she said was "you are looking really good nurse jen" Shes in 5th grade:)
Im so happy for you! The DS is just going to rock your world!!
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Post by luckylibrarian on Apr 29, 2012 21:26:37 GMT -5
Good luck Kristen! I think it was you who i was talking to awhile back about a "story" to tell the kids...well i wanted to let you know i had my 1st student notice my WL the other day at almost 6 months out and over a 100lbs down! And all she said was "you are looking really good nurse jen" Shes in 5th grade:) Im so happy for you! The DS is just going to rock your world!! Yay nurse Jen! Edited to add: I think I may tell them that I purposefully ingested a tapeworm. I'd like to see their reactions. LOL!
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Post by vanishingmom on Apr 30, 2012 6:01:19 GMT -5
Congrats for facing it head on. I was exactly your weight (I was an inch shorter though at 5'4) when I started a year ago. I had my surgery in July and so far I've lost 175lbs. You are in for a long, wonderful, amazing and life changing ride.
Being a heavyweight gives us a little bit of a different perspective, the basics are the same but some of the things we deal with are different.
I'm so excited for you!
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Post by mark540 on Apr 30, 2012 6:55:15 GMT -5
I was in a similar state, I never saw myself as being obese, just big. At 626 lbs I was big. I think this in some way helps us when we finally decide to take matters into our hands and change things. We have a good attitude towards changing things. We can do anything we want, just a bit slower than others.
Good luck!
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Post by willowrayne on Apr 30, 2012 7:32:16 GMT -5
I am right there with you girl. For years I thought about this and figured I could change it without surgery. I realized I was fooling myself and am anxiously awaiting my turn. Sounds like we will go through this journey together.
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I777 using ProBoards
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Post by smokinstella on Apr 30, 2012 14:02:45 GMT -5
So proud of you for being able to say it. I know first hand just how hard it is to look at yourself in the mirror and admit it to yourself. Especially when you have looked at that image in the mirror for so long its easy to keep telling yourself its not that bad. Best of luck with your insurance approval
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Post by Shawnie (kouklamonkey) on May 5, 2012 15:48:53 GMT -5
Hi Kristen! I'm with you too. Same situation. I'm not sure how I was in such denial for so long, probably why I weigh as much as I do, but thankfully something flipped and within a single thought the denial was over and I can't get this surgery fast enough. Best of luck to you on your journey! I can't wait to hear your updates. PS. my best friend is a Librarian
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firedancer722
Full Member
DS with Dr. Albert Spaw - January 28, 2013
Posts: 116
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Post by firedancer722 on May 8, 2012 0:09:22 GMT -5
Hi Kristen! (That's my niece's name!) I am almost the same as you as far as stats go! And I can really relate to what you said about being in huge denial. Until probably the last 6 months or so, I honestly thought that I was not obese. I mean, I knew that my BMI was super super high, I knew that I wore a size 30 pants, and a 3x-4x top, but I think somehow my brain didn't register that I was ACTUALLY 378 pounds!! I know it seems strange to some people, but I really didn't get it. I didn't see myself the way I know others see me. It wasn't until VERY recently that I had that lightbulb moment where I was just like OMG - I am so severely obese that I can't fit in chairs, tie my shoes, pick things up off the floor, or even FASTEN a seatbelt in some cars. I mean.... it was like I just woke up all the sudden from this huge dream of denial that has been going on for 32 years. Now, I am so ready to get OUT of this body - this PRISON that I'm in. It's not who I am on the inside at ALL. So yeah.... I look forward to watching you on your journey and maybe soon, I'll be having my surgery too!! Hugs, Candace
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Post by Leonie on May 8, 2012 1:02:45 GMT -5
Three years ago I hit my high of 324 pounds. - and I became diabetic. So I tried yet again and managed to lose all of six pounds in three years. I knew dieting does not work, so I kept on ignoring it. Yet I would always be aware that in a crowd of a thousand people, I would be the biggest one there. No shop pants fitted me, and if I found a top that did, I would buy one in every colour.
I reached a turning point last year in October and latched onto the last straw of surgery. Super morbid obesity is quite rare here in South Africa, and so is WLS. Working with a dietitian, I lost perhaps another ten pounds. I single-mindedly worked toward getting the DS. On the day of surgery I weighed exactly 300 pounds. Today I am about 280 pounds. (2 and a half weeks out)
I am no longer a heavyweight!!!!! I am no longer super-morbidly obese. Soon I will no longer be the biggest person in a crowd. Soon I will be normal.
Heavyweight is not a life sentence, or a death sentence. There is an escape, thanks to the DS. So hang in there folks. It is really, truly possible.
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Post by luckylibrarian on May 13, 2012 18:59:19 GMT -5
Well, I finally "came out" to my Facebook friends about the WLS. feels liberating.
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